At a time when joy and celebration are expected, it can feel overwhelming to try to find meaningful ways of engaging in the festive spirit.

If you’re looking for guidance on how to manage your emotions this holiday season, then I’m here to help. I want to ensure that self-care is your number one priority so you can plan ahead and take care of yourself by doing what feels right for you. 

Together, let’s make this Christmas season a little easier. Take a deep breath, and let’s get started.

What Is the Best Way of Dealing With Grief?

Dealing with our emotions can be one of the most challenging aspects of grieving, especially during the holidays. 

Many years ago, people were much wiser when it came to their feelings—they wore black and went through a period of mourning as an acceptance of grief until those feelings no longer required deep attention.

It’s important to give ourselves this same permission to “feel” without trying to push away or suppress our emotions.

After all, your feelings are the most real thing you have—they are your greatest truth-teller. By being aware and articulate about your feelings, you will eventually become more comfortable in managing them until they’re no longer required to be felt.

For example, if you’re feeling tremendous sadness, then allow yourself to say so out loud. It’s important not to punish yourself or feel guilty for these emotions.

Give yourself the space and permission to mourn, and though it may take some time, eventually, you will start to feel more in control of your emotions. 

What Happens if You Ignore Your Grief?

Sometimes we’re aware of our feelings, but we don’t accept them.

It’s natural for us to feel and express our emotions, yet when it comes to painful ones, we often try to push them away. We may think or say things like, “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I don’t want to upset people by talking about my pain.”

But suppressing our feelings does not make them go away—in fact, it can have the opposite effect.

Trying to push our feelings down with food, drink, or distractions such as binge-watching Netflix won’t make that emotion go away. Instead, your feelings will likely regroup and come back stronger than ever.

While accepting your grief can be scary at first, I want you to know that, eventually, these negative emotions will become more manageable.

It’s essential to take care of yourself, especially during the festive season when it may feel like there is pressure to be happy. So give yourself permission for the time you need to process your emotions and reach out for support whenever you can.

What Are The Five Stages of Grief?

When dealing with grief and loss, it can be helpful to acknowledge the five stages of grief: 

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Pain
4. Acceptance 
5. Moving on

Remember that these stages may not come in any particular order and each stage needs time to process and heal.

Denial

Denial is a natural part of the grieving process. You may find yourself in disbelief that something has happened or at the magnitude of your loss. In these times, it’s essential to allow yourself permission to feel this denial without judgment.

Anger

Following denial, you may experience feelings of anger. This could range from mild annoyance right through to rage. You must recognize and acknowledge these feelings and find healthy ways of managing your anger. 

For example, try writing down your thoughts or engaging in an activity such as meditation, running, or yoga that allows you to let out any frustrations.

Do not suppress these feelings; instead, give yourself permission to speak out loud and to feel.

Pain

Pain is often the most intense of emotions that you may experience following a loss. It can be helpful to take time away from others and allow yourself some moments of privacy to fully process your pain. Caring for yourself with self-compassion at this time is essential to provide comfort in an overwhelming situation. 

Acceptance

Acceptance does not mean forgetting the person or event but rather coming to terms with what has happened. This stage can bring with it some relief as well as sadness and will vary from person to person. 

Be gentle with yourself during this stage, allowing yourself permission to move forward when you are ready on your own timeline.

Moving On 

Finally, moving on involves accepting your loss and finding ways to honor your pain whilst also appreciating the joys that life can bring. 

Grief does not have a predictable timeline, and you should be kind to yourself as you move through this process.

What To Do At Christmas When You Are Grieving 

There’s no doubt that Christmas can be a particularly challenging time when you are grieving the loss of a loved one. 

It’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and to take things at your own pace.

You may want to spend some time alone or with supportive friends and family during the holidays—whatever works best for you. Setting boundaries and giving yourself permission to engage in Christmas activities or take a break from them is essential during this time.

Although others may encourage you to attend social gatherings, giving yourself some space away from others can help facilitate healing; there is no wrong or right way when it comes to grief, and dealing with it will look different for everyone.

Harness the Power of Hypnosis To Overcome Grief

If you are dealing with a loss, then try my Overcome Grief self-hypnosis audio to harness the power of hypnosis to find acceptance and healing this festive season.

This 25-minute session guides your mind into a deeply relaxed state, where positive suggestions are embedded into your subconscious. 

With continued practice, this audio session can create new pathways in your subconscious mind to help reduce deep pain associated with grief and increase confidence and positivity when viewing your future outlook.

For maximum effect, listen to this audio for 21 days and continue as needed. By connecting with your inner power, hypnosis can be an extraordinary support for you during this difficult period. 

Final Thoughts

Please know you absolutely have the power to overcome grief and loss. 

By planning ahead, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-care, it is absolutely possible to find solace—even in the festive season. 

Take comfort in knowing that there are so many people here for you—your family, friends, support groups, and indeed professional help. You can always find someone who will listen to you, and there is no need to feel alone.

If you’re looking for fast and powerful help, I highly recommend you check out my Overcome Grief self-hypnosis audio. Hypnosis can be a great support during this difficult period to accelerate your journey toward acceptance and moving on to enjoy the joys of life once again. 

Remember—there is no right or wrong way to experience grief and loss; take the time to do whatever feels right for you and know that you are not alone.

Your life may not ever be the same, but you can still have a great life where you laugh, smile, and love again.

I hope these tips have been helpful in navigating the holiday season after a loss, and I wish you peace, strength, and love.

Whether you’re the one who’s been cut off from your family or the instigator—separation can be painful and confusing. 

While the process of healing may be difficult, it is entirely possible. So if you want to reconnect with your family but are unsure if the feelings are mutual, this blog is for you!

Is It Normal To Be Estranged From Family?

Although family estrangement can feel incredibly isolating, you certainly aren’t the only one struggling with this challenge.

It’s important to remember that estrangement is not unusual. According to a study by Harvard University, 1 in 5 adults in the US are estranged from a family member.

So whether you are dealing with the aftermath of unresolved issues or have decided that going your separate ways is the best option for everyone involved—recognizing that what you’re experiencing isn’t abnormal is reassuring.

Why Do Family Members Become Estranged?

Feeling alienated or withdrawn from your family can happen for a variety of reasons. 

The most common causes of family estrangement are unresolved conflict, abuse (physical, emotional, or verbal), mental illness, and addiction. 

During the pandemic, unique situations arose that made estrangement even more difficult. 

Whether you had an argument that was never resolved or someone made hurtful comments over a Zoom call. Or maybe, like many families, you just drifted apart over time, and the pandemic was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

Whatever the reason, estrangement is painful, and many families are going through similar situations this festive season. 

What Are The Effects of Estrangement  

Estrangement can profoundly impact both the individual and the family as a whole. 

For the individual, estrangement can lead to feelings of isolation, sadness and anxiety. Sometimes, this can even escalate to depression and substance abuse. 

Families can also find the effects of estrangement very difficult to deal with. 

Feelings of guilt and regret—on both sides—can lead to further divisions between family members. Communication becomes strained, and conversations may get tense. 

Often, members of estranged families don’t want to talk about the issue and may even actively avoid it. In some cases, family members can go years without speaking or having any contact at all. 

This can cause unrecognized stresses that may manifest in other areas of life, such as work and relationships.

However, it’s also important to recognize that estrangement from family can also be an opportunity for growth and healing. 

It opens up space for us to reflect on our choices, relationships, and patterns without being influenced by others’ opinions or beliefs. 

How Do You Fix Family Estrangement?

Although it may be difficult to take the first step to reconnect with estranged family members, it’s certainly possible. Sometimes it simply requires the confidence to make the first move! 

You can reach out via text, email, social media, or even good old-fashioned mail. Sending a card or letter in the mail may no longer be the preferred form of communication, but it shows that you’re willing to put in the extra effort to build bridges. 

The most important part of reaching out is expressing your desire to reconcile and asking if they’re open to doing the same. 

Go into this conversation with no expectations, they may not be ready or willing to reconcile—and that’s okay. 

The main thing is that you’ve taken the first step by reaching out and having an open and honest conversation about what has happened and how you’re both feeling. 

What Happens If Estranged Family Doesn’t Want to Reconnect?

If reconciliation isn’t possible or isn’t something your family is interested in pursuing, that’s okay too. The most important thing is that you’ve tried. 

At the end of the day, all you can do is control your own actions and feelings. You can’t force anyone else to do anything they don’t want to do or feel any certain way. 

Instead, focus on resolving your own wounds and spending time with people who make you feel good about yourself. 

What Is the Feeling of One-Sided Love?

It’s important to recognize that a relationship with your family should not be one-sided. It should involve both giving and taking in order to be healthy and sustainable. 

To illustrate this point, take a moment to lay your hands on your chest and breathe out completely until you feel uncomfortable. You are currently giving but not getting anything back. 

Now, keep breathing in until you realize how difficult it is to just take and take without giving anything back. 

What we can learn from this is that when we give love, it’s equally as important to receive love too. When an imbalance occurs, it can cause us immense pain and suffering.

How Do You Heal From Estranged Family? 

It is in our very nature to crave connection and belonging. 

When we don’t feel accepted by our families, it can have a devastating effect on our self-worth and thoughts. 

We start to believe that we are not enough, that we don’t matter or fit in. This can create an incredibly limiting belief—that “I’m not good enough.” 

As a therapist, I found this was at the root of many issues—from alcoholism and binge eating to depression. That’s why I created the “I Am Enough” movement—to empower individuals such as yourself to recognize their worth, value, and potential. 

How Do I Get Over Family Estrangement? 

To start your journey to a happier, healthier and more loving relationship with yourself and family members, check out my I Am Enough: Secrets to a Successful Life audio course.

Over seven days, it will equip you with the tools and techniques to identify your limiting beliefs, break through mental blocks, and gain newfound confidence in yourself and your own worth. 

This renewed belief in yourself will give you the strength to move past any challenging family dynamics and create a healthier relationship with your loved ones.

It will help you be more positive and productive, attract greater abundance into your life, and have healthier relationships with the people around you—and more importantly, with yourself. 

I’m Here For You

No one deserves to feel alone or isolated during the festive season—especially not because of family estrangement. 

If you’re struggling with this, remember you have immense power to create a life full of joy and fulfillment—no matter what happened in the past.  

Before you can attempt to reconcile with anyone, it is vital that you first repair your relationship with yourself by developing the unshakable confidence and self-esteem you deserve.

So remember to check out my transformational I Am Enough: Secrets to a Successful Life audio course. You deserve to live a happy, fulfilling life free from pain and sorrow—I sincerely hope this helps get you there. 

While intimacy is wonderful, many of us worry about becoming vulnerable.

If you want to learn how to overcome a fear of intimacy so you can share and enjoy deep, meaningful connections with those you love most…

Just keep reading! 

What Does Intimacy Mean?

When we talk about intimacy, we often believe it is sexual—but that’s not always the case.

Being intimate doesn’t just mean having a sexual relationship with someone, it also refers to a level of closeness that helps us to feel validated and safe. 

In fact, “intimacy” is synonymous with the phrase, “Into me you see.” Perfectly encapsulating the true meaning of intimacy. 

What Are the Four Types of Intimacy? 

Now we know that intimacy holds a much broader meaning, we can look at its four types. 

These are:

1. Emotional
2. Physical
3. Mental
4. Spiritual

It makes sense that the first person you ever had an intimate relationship with was a parent. 

If the people who loved you (or were supposed to love you) hurt or abused you—emotionally, physically, mentally, or even sexually—it leaves you with a very confusing and warped idea about what love and intimacy are.

When this happens, you don’t stop loving the person you were supposed to bond and connect with as a baby or child. 

Instead, we often stop loving ourselves—blaming ourselves for their unloving and unhealthy behavior, and consequently developing a deep fear of intimacy. 

Do We Choose Partners Like Our Parents? 

The mind has a need to return to what is familiar and runs away from what is unfamiliar.

So take a minute now and think about your parents…

What did you take from them that formed your belief about relationships?

If your parents were cold and distant, then your mind is likely to attract partners who have also been cold and distant too.

“My dad cheated on my mom, and he never gave her any money, and that’s so weird, because I seem to like guys that cheat and never get their wallet out.”

This is because we learn from our life experiences, then we attempt to recreate what we learned—all in the hopes of trying to change the outcomes.

We often believe we can change a cold person and transform them into a warm and caring soul.

Or convert a selfish person into someone who wants to give us everything they have.

But here’s something you need to know…

Life is way too short to change the ending—you need to change the beginning.

So what do I mean by that?

You can change the beginning by not entering new relationships with partners that resemble what you find familiar—if that’s already proven to result in an unhealthy, unsuccessful, and unhappy relationship.

Run away from the familiar and run towards what is unfamiliar instead.

You need to make what is unfamiliar, familiar. 

Questions You Need To Ask Yourself

So if you want to overcome a fear of intimacy, ask yourself these questions: 

What did I learn about love growing up?

Where did I learn about love?

How bonded was I to my mother?

How bonded was I to my father?

What did they show me in actions and words that were destructive, damaging, or limiting? 

Why do I believe that their relationship is the template I am forced to follow?

Answering these questions thoughtfully will help you realize that just because you learned what love and intimacy looked like from your parents, it doesn’t have to be how they look in your own life.

Love should not be earned, run after, bought, or worked for—it should be just there.

So remember this pattern, and stop trying to change your partner in the hopes of correcting the path your parents took because life is too short.

Instead, change the beginning (where your fear actually started), and you can overcome all your fears and limiting beliefs about intimacy.

Why Is Self Love So Powerful?

When you do find someone who is wonderful, caring, and loving—you can think they’re going to make you feel amazing. 

“I’ve found this perfect person and they’re going to make me feel so good about myself.”

But if you give someone the power to make you feel good—to complete you—then you also give them the power to take that away at any time they like. 

This can make us feel incredibly vulnerable because this person could take love away from us, whether it is intentional or not. 

It can make us feel as though we would be nothing without them, and if they left us, it would be the end of the world. 

So you have to love yourself, believe in yourself, love your relationship and know that if it ended you’d be terribly sad, but you would be able to continue.

Because the only person who can complete you, is YOU.

How To Accept Your Partner’s Flaws

Learning to love ourselves can be difficult sometimes. Especially if you’ve grown up with parents who didn’t show you the love you deserved. 

But the truth is, the best you can be is a real flawed person, having a flawed relationship with another real flawed person.

I call it “being flawesome.”

I want you to understand that I’m flawed, my husband is flawed, our kids are flawed, and our relatives are flawed. Knowing this makes it so much easier to love them and accept them—because we all have flaws.

In fact, it would be an awful thing to have a partner who is perfect because it would make you feel totally inadequate. 

This is why people don’t like perfect, glossy, shiny, and amazing people. Although we often try to present a perfect image of ourselves to others, we actually choose people who share our vulnerabilities because they allow us to bond and connect with one another. 

Those who are determined to appear perfect are very often alone and unhappy because they’re pretending to be something that doesn’t exist—nobody can be perfect.

So forget about trying to be perfect, and just be yourself. 

Let the person who loves you love the real authentic you. Let them see your flaws, just as you also see their flaws. 

How Do I Stop Comparing Past Relationships?

Your parents may not have been the greatest, and they may have done you a disservice—but they were victims of their childhood too.

If you recognize this, then you free yourself from having to follow the same pattern. 

You have the power to choose to no longer carry this around with you anymore. 

Don’t hurt yourself and others by rejecting love and intimacy. You have remarkable resilience, and to be happy, you have to forgive and forget the past. 

So be grateful for the present, be excited about the future, and love yourself so powerfully and unconditionally that you attract and accept the same from others.   

Overcome Your Fear of Intimacy for Good

Many of us are anxious about the thought of being vulnerable, and indeed love can put us in a vulnerable position.

But remember the expression, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

You can have deep, intimate love, a fantastic sex life, great friendships, and it can have nothing to do with how you started in life. 

It doesn’t matter what or where you came from—it’s where you’re going that counts.

You can certainly go to love, stay in love, and enjoy the joys of intimacy in all forms. Because love is available to you—it really is all around you. 

But if you could do with some help in overcoming your fear of intimacy and achieving deep connections through loving relationships, then I want you to check out my best-selling Lovability self-hypnosis audio course. 

This self-hypnosis audio course helps to powerfully reprogram your mind, so you can feel like the lovable person you really are. When you feel lovable inside, the shift is transformative and the world falls in love with you too. 

People start to experience results within the first 21 days, so make sure you listen every day to benefit from its maximum effect. 

I highly recommend it—fall in love with yourself, become intimate with who you are, and find out how easy it is to do it with others too. 

For some, this means running away from their problems or freezing up and putting up a wall between themselves and the issue at hand.

So today, we’ll be discussing stonewalling—a troublesome communication behavior that can seriously impact your relationship’s health.

You’ll discover what exactly stonewalling is, why people do it, and the powerful steps you can take to stop yourself or your partner from exhibiting stonewalling behavior in the future—for a happier, healthier, more loving relationship.

To achieve this, we’ll cover:

1. What stonewalling is and why people do it 
2. Four common communication mistakes in relationships    
3. How to set up an open dialogue with your partner
4. The importance of being honest about your feelings
5. Why you should always ask what your partner wants 
6. The real reason why you’re not telling your partner what you want
7. My rule for finding and keeping a loving relationship

Let’s get started!

What is Stonewalling?

Imagine you’re speaking to a wall. Well, it doesn’t speak back to you—and that’s essentially what stonewalling is. 

Your partner takes the role of the stone wall, shutting you out from all and any communication. During this time, it seems impossible to get through to them.

Reading this may make you realize that you may be guilty of stonewalling your partner yourself. Either way, it’s best to be able to recognize the behavior so you can quickly reach better resolutions in the future. 

Some examples of stonewalling would be giving your partner the silent treatment, avoiding conflict and abruptly walking away, being vague or evasive in your responses, and withholding affection or intimacy.

Of course, these are just a few examples of stonewalling, and some are more extreme than others.

But you’ll often find one of the most subtle yet damaging demonstrations of stonewalling is simply saying, “I’m fine,” (and nothing else) when your partner questions your feelings. 

There are many reasons why people do this—so just know that you and your partner are not alone in dealing with this communication problem…

Why Do People Stonewall?

Some people stonewall because they’re afraid of conflict. They may have had negative experiences in the past where arguments turned into shouting matches or led to physical violence. 

As a result, they’ve learned to shut down emotionally to avoid conflict.

Others stonewall as a way to protect themselves from criticism. If they feel like they’re always being judged or put down, they may start withdrawing from conversations to avoid rejection. 

Overall, stonewalling helps to keep others from getting too close—whether that’s due to fear of conflict, criticism, or a fear of intimacy. 

The “stonewaller” creates distance in the relationship and avoids having to open up and share their thoughts and feelings with someone else.

It’s also important to recognize that stonewalling can be a sign of emotional abuse in some cases. For example, some partners use it to control the conversation, manipulate the other person, or avoid difficult topics.

Now you know why people stonewall, you’re going to want to keep reading as I’m about to tell you exactly how you and your partner can make it a thing of the past to succeed in a loving and caring relationship that lasts. 

4 Communication Mistakes People Make in Relationships 

Read on to discover the four common mistakes that people make in relationships…

Not only will recognizing these likely help you have fewer arguments in your relationship—but they could also help you stop stonewalling in its tracks for more productive and understanding communication. 

Here they are…

Mistake #1: I like what you like

It often all starts with this one mistake…

“I like what you like.” 

Wrong. 

Please don’t make this mistake early in a relationship.

Many women, in particular, think, “I better not say what I want. I don’t want to be seen as difficult or demanding.”

So what happens? You think the best course of action is to pretend you’re so easily pleased at the start of a relationship. 

You try to appear chilled, easy-going, and fun-loving with your partner—after all, we want our relationships to be successful…this often is mistakenly seen as the way to achieving that. 

We’re all guilty of doing this at some point in our lives. But if you recognize this in yourself, please don’t do it again. 

Don’t put your partner’s happiness before your own—because when you do that, I promise that neither of you will end up happy. 

Mistake #2: Expecting your partner to know what’s wrong

People often stonewall because they want to display their infuriation with their partner that they should know better. And the best—or worst—way to do this is to block them out altogether. 

This means, sometimes, we unfairly expect our partner to be psychic—and that’s just not realistic. Only we know what we’re truly feeling, thinking, and what we need. 

Yet too often, I see dialogue go like this: 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You seem a bit upset.”

“No, I’m fine.”

Everything in your body language is saying, “I’m upset,” but you expect your partner to know why when you haven’t even told them.

If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, it’s even more confusing. This is because men expect their female partner to act like a male, and women often expect the male to act like a female.

As an example, one of my clients came to me and said, “I can never make my wife happy. I come in at the end of the day, and she starts to tell me what’s happened.” 

Their daughter forgot her lunchbox, and her boss increased her workload at the last minute…

And his response was, “Oh, well, this is what I would’ve done…you need to have her lunch box by the front door. You need to explain to your boss what you already have on.”

And she said, “I don’t want that.”

“Why does he try to fix it when I just want him to hear?” 

My advice to him was that he’s got to become her best girlfriend. That he’s got to say things like, “Oh, I hate that for you.”

This was such a surprise to him. 

But I explained to him, “She is looking to know that you have heard her. So when she gives the list of what went wrong in her day, don’t offer solutions, become her best girlfriend say, ‘Baby, I hate that for you. That’s horrible.'”

And he said, “Wow, I never knew that.”

He came back to me and couldn’t believe how things had changed. He said, “Becoming like a girlfriend to my wife is amazing.”

You may be reading this thinking, “Well, I’m never going to do that.”

But for him, it really worked—and it may work for you and your partner too. 

Mistake #3: Thinking you and your partner want the same things

I had a situation many years ago where my father was ill.

He’d had surgery, and he nearly died under anesthetics, but they had to do the surgery again. There was a big chance he wouldn’t survive, and I had to call him to say my final goodbyes— just in case. 

Of course, I was super emotional, and it was really hard to effectively say goodbye to him. 

To my dismay, when I picked up the phone to make that difficult call, my partner at the time left to play golf. 

I remember thinking, “Wow, he is not my partner anymore.”

“I’m feeling vulnerable, sad, and emotional, and his response is to go and play golf.”

“What a cold, mean, horrible, nasty person.”

When he eventually came back, I called him out on it and asked, “How could you do that?”

His response was that he thought I’d appreciate being left alone. Because if it was him making that call to his dad, he explained he would be tearful and wouldn’t want anyone around to see that.

So in his mind, he left as an act of consideration and empathy. 

See what went on there?

He did what a man would do. But of course, I wanted to do what a girl would do.

So that’s a big disconnect in many heterosexual relationships. 

We think our partner doesn’t care when really they’re often doing what they think you want them to do—what they would like you to do for them. 

Mistake 4: Being too quick to move on when problems arise 

Too often, I hear people say:

“They’re just not the right person.”

“They don’t meet my needs.”

“They don’t understand me and what I want.”

Nowadays, we get rid of people much too easily. 

We swipe left and get someone new—someone we believe will be an upgrade. Change our number or block our partner; just like that, it’s so easy to start all over again. 

But all of my clients that do that say, “You know what happened? I got a new partner, and the same problems happened with a new one.”

“They were just as bad as the last one. Just as unthinking, uncaring, and insensitive.”

So we really have to take a look at the pattern here. 

When we don’t get what we want, we can often assume it’s because our partner doesn’t care—but that’s not the case. Instead, they just don’t understand because you haven’t explained your wants and needs to them yet. 

The truth is, for most of us, it’s much easier to make an existing relationship better and make it work than to find a new one and take all the same problems with you.

With that being said, let’s move swiftly on to what exactly you should if you want to keep your relationship thriving…

How to Easily Set Up an Open Dialogue

The way to bridge the gap between this communication disconnect and successfully overcome stonewalling is to constantly explain what we want through an open dialogue. 

If you think, “My partner’s forgetting, it’s my birthday. They’re not mentioning it—it’s because they don’t care.”

Rather than ignoring them and waiting for them to mess up, take a deep breath and change the outcome.

Tell yourself, “Hey, you know what? They love me. They want to celebrate my birthday. So I’m going to remind them it’s coming up.” 

Then you can communicate your expectations, needs, and desires with your partner.

Tell them, “Hey, it’s my birthday next Thursday. I know you want to do something amazing. So let me give you some ideas of what I want.”

Just like that, you’ll have stopped yourself from sitting it out and waiting for hurt, anger, and disappointment to arrive. Plus, your partner will be so grateful that they have been given a second chance to make sure you have a great day. 

We’ve all been guilty of this, but from this point on, make the decision to tell your partner what you want and what you need.

It’s so much easier to just communicate your thoughts with your partner, and I promise it will drastically improve your relationship and help you to lead a much happier and fulfilled life. 

Stop Stonewalling By Being Honest About Your Feelings

On those occasions when someone does disappoint you, tell them. Be honest and explain that you were upset and explain what hurt you about the situation. 

The trick to doing this successfully is to not be confrontational. 

Don’t say things like, “You made me feel unimportant. You forgot. You’re always late to pick me up, I know you don’t care about me.” 

Instead, you can get the same message across in a much more productive manner. For example, “I know you care about me and if you could just pick me up on time, I would feel even more cared for.”

I said to my husband one day, “Baby, you know when we’re downstairs, occasionally you go, ‘I’m going to bed,’ and you just get up and leave. Well, I have to lock all the doors and windows, and I don’t feel protected.”

Then I explained to him, “I want you to always lock up so I feel you’re concerned about my safety.”

And he loved that.

Now, every night he checks all the doors, and he feels good about himself—and I feel protected. 

All because I communicated my feelings to him, and I did it in a polite and thoughtful manner. It’s not important to him but now he understands it’s very important to me.

I could have said to my husband, “When you go bed and don’t even lock the door, you don’t care about me.”

But instead, I communicated with him that I know he loves me, and he could show me how much he cared about my safety by doing this one thing for me—and he does.

So here are some ways to start your new and improved dialogue: 

“I know you care about me, so…”

“I know you want to make this work, so…”

“I know you’re invested in both of us being happy, so…”

Tell your partner what you need—share them. Share your wants and desires. 

Remember, your partner is not psychic; they’re clairvoyant. Therefore, you need to be open and honest with your feelings, wants, and desires so they can be understood and met. 

Ask What Your Partner Wants

Success in avoiding stonewalling and achieving great communication in your relationship isn’t all about telling your partner what you want. You also need to ask them what they want. 

If they don’t openly tell you, then asking your partner is the only way to know what they want and need. 

Just like when it’s your friend or sibling’s birthday, and you have no idea what to get them, you ask them. 

You say, “Hey, what do you want for your birthday?”

You give them what they want—it doesn’t make the day worse; it makes it better because they got exactly what they wanted, and you didn’t waste your time or money on something they didn’t. 

For example, if I asked my husband what he wants for his birthday, his response would likely be a book—he loves them. So, a little book that costs $5 will thrill him.

However, if he bought me just a book on my birthday, it would not be a happy day. It wouldn’t thrill me at all because we’re different.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re two separate people who have two different sets of desires. So you see, it’s all about understanding each other’s needs. 

The Real Reason Why You Don’t Tell Your Partner What You Want 

The most common reason why we aren’t clear about what we want in a relationship is a fear of rejection—our greatest fear of all. 

“I don’t want to tell you what I really want or need in case you reject me.”

The issue with this is that you can’t show someone who you are and can’t have the relationship you want if you’re not truly being yourself. 

When you do this, you actually end up rejecting yourself. 

You must realize that no one can reject you without your consent. And if someone rejects you just because you are sharing your needs, they’re not the right person for you. 

I want you to know that the right person will never reject you.

In fact, the right person for you will go out of their way to understand your needs because you’ve got the confidence to express them so nicely and eloquently.

And your partner, of course, is worthy of expressing their needs and having them understood and met too.

My Rule For Finding and Keeping a Loving Relationship

By now, I hope my rule for finding and keeping a loving relationship is clear—it’s all about working out your needs and feeling comfortable sharing them with your partner.

So don’t dismiss your partner when they don’t understand you. Instead, take the time to explain to them what you’re feeling, what you want, and what you need. 

Be honest.

Of course, this requires a level of vulnerability, but you can’t be afraid of that. Remember—people like people who show their vulnerability because it makes them endearing, relatable, and authentic. 

As much as you may try to be perfect, not only is that an impossible goal to set yourself, but you’ll find the closer you get, the harder people will find it to relate to you. 

People don’t connect to those who appear perfect. We like people who share our values, and we dislike people who appear perfect and who never express their needs.

So, in relationships, vulnerability is great.

If you want to explore more about how to attract and maintain a loving relationship, check out my Attract Your Relationship hypnotic audio course.

Final Thoughts on Successfully Overcoming Stonewalling

Stonewalling is a frustrating communication issue in many relationships. If it’s affecting yours, then start taking the steps we’ve addressed today to start making positive progress in your relationship. 

Tell one another what your needs are, what your desires are. 

Open up your dialogue, express your needs, and let them know all of your desires and ask them theirs. If you do this, then guess what? They both get met. 

Doing this will not only help you overcome and avoid stonewalling, but it could also help drastically improve your relationship and reignite the love and connection between you and your partner. 

If either of you needs extra support, check out my Healthy Relationships Mini-Course, so you can move towards a joyful, happy, loving, wonderful relationship together that lasts the test of time.

But with a little preparation and knowledge, dating can be an exciting and rewarding experience. 

Today, I’m sharing my advice on how you can get back out there, increase your chances of success, and start enjoying the dating scene again—so you can find love and keep it forever. 

To accomplish this, we’ll cover:

• The truth about dating later in life
• Whether you’re ready for love 
• How to find the right person for you 
• Why not being perfect is perfect
• The secret to online dating success 
• My first date advice 
• The most important part of making a date successful

Let’s get started! 

The Truth About Dating Over 50

Your mind is wired to return to what you know and avoid what you don’t.

So it’s no wonder that you can feel out of your depth when it comes to dating over 50—especially after a long marriage or hiatus.

We can find ourselves thinking:

“I haven’t done that for so long.”

“I’ve fallen out of the saddle.”

“I’m out of practice.”

“I don’t know how to do it anymore.”

But you’re no less lovable than you were in your twenties. This is because you’ve grown so much; you know exactly who you are and what you want—you have so much more to offer.

How exciting that you get to relive this part of your life? You get to go out and meet new people and potential partners who have so much life experience and know exactly what they want—just like you.

So you may feel like you’ve forgotten how to date. It may feel strange to you and like all this happened a lifetime ago. But it’s simply unfamiliar to you. 

Before we dive into how to make dating over 50 more familiar, there’s one question you must ask yourself first… 

Are You Ready for Love?

The biggest mistake anyone makes in attempting to find love is doing so before they love themselves. 

It’s so important to understand and recognize that you’re not looking for your other half—because you’re not a half. You don’t need another person to complete you.

When you have the perspective, “I’m only half a person, I need my person to complete me. Where are they? I’m not fulfilled without them.”

That’s not working in your favor. 

Rather, you must come at it from, “I am worthy, I’m whole, I’m amazing, I’m going to find someone equally amazing.”

“We’re going to have an amazing life together.”

So please don’t believe you’re incomplete until you find the person you love—you have to believe you are complete now.

To attract the love you want, the number one thing you need to have, above everything, is a belief that you are worth it.

The only thing you need for love is, “I’m worth it.”

“I’m worthy of love because I’m lovable.”

“I’ve got something to offer.”

If you need help with learning to love yourself, then check out my highly-effective Lovability self-hypnosis audio course. This course is designed to help you instill the inner belief that you are lovable by reprogramming your mind with conviction so strong that other people may sense it too. 

Because before you love anyone, you need to love yourself. Once you do, the next step will be so much easier…

Finding the Right Person for You

When we’re younger, in our teens, twenties, or even thirties, we often look for all the wrong things in a partner. We are out for adventure and excitement—someone who’s incredibly good-looking and perhaps even a bit of a rule-breaker. 

We go on a wild adventure with this person that’s thrilling and exciting but often ends in heartbreak. 

As you reach your later years and start dating over 50 and beyond, you realize this isn’t what’s important in life at all. Perhaps you’ve even been through a divorce with someone just like I just described.

So my advice is to not pick someone 20 to 25 years younger than you. Instead, pick someone with whom you have shared interests, who makes you laugh, and who will support you throughout life’s challenges. 

My husband ticks all of these boxes. He may not look like Brad Pitt, but he’s screamingly funny, and I love that. 

When we argue, he’ll get into character and say something that makes it impossible for me to stay angry with him. And he never stays angry because I’m kind of playful and silly.

If you only ever look for the perfect partner, you will never find them…  

Why Not Being Perfect Is Perfect

Perfect people simply don’t exist, and wasting your valuable time trying to find them will only ever leave you dissatisfied, sad, and disappointed. 

Delaying pursuing a relationship with someone because they’re not what you consider perfect will only ever guarantee yourself one thing—loneliness.  

Just as you can’t expect others to be perfect, you can’t expect yourself to be either.

In fact, this may surprise you, but the amount of movie stars, rockstars, and supermodels I’ve met who are lonely is extraordinary because people find them too perfect—they’re intimidated.

So you don’t have to live up to an expectation of being perfect because, actually, we don’t even like people who appear perfect. They make us feel inadequate and second-rate. We like real people who are like us, after all. 

The sexiest thing about a person is their confidence and sense of who they are. 

Therefore, accept that you are flawed, and other flawed people surround you. Your flaws are what make you real, genuine, and authentic—that’s a wonderful thing. 

Once you realize this, you can go out there and find someone, equally as imperfect as you, who loves you for you, and who you love because they’re them. Then, together, you can build a beautiful, flawed relationship, loving and supporting each other. 

Take my wonderful husband and me, for example. I’m flawed, my lovely husband is flawed, and we have a beautiful, flawed relationship. I don’t have to be perfect for him, and he doesn’t have to be perfect for me. 

We don’t have a perfect relationship—it’s too much to live up to.

And guess what? This relationship will be miles better than anything you’d have with someone you consider perfect. Because now you don’t have to worry about how big your clothes are, your height, the number on the scales, or the number in your bank account. 

All these things don’t matter. 

What matters is being a real person and finding real love—when you do this, you’ll have found the right person for you who equally knows you are right for them. 

Do this, and you can absolutely find and maintain real love that will last forever.  

The Secret to Online Dating Over 50 Success

Of course, it’s all well and good knowing what you’re looking for in a person—but you also need to put yourself out there to find them, too.

Online dating is a great way to meet new people far and wide, and there are so many sites and apps you can use to find those of a similar age as you, with the same likes and dislikes.

But when talking to someone online, it’s so easy to try to become who you think they want you to be. You post a picture on a site that’s perhaps five or 10 years out of date, text them back, and suddenly it’s like you almost become this fantasy person.

When speaking on an app or phone, you can hide your flaws and who you really are. But this isn’t a good thing—when you give someone a filtered version of yourself, and they like it, you inevitably start worrying that they will be disappointed with the real you. 

“I’ve told you for a whole year that I’m this smart, sharp, sassy, confident person. And I’m really not.”

“I spent a whole year faking it, and now I can’t hide that.”

But as we’ve already discussed, we’re all flawed—I’m flawed, you’re flawed, and the person you meet will be too. 

You’re going to meet somebody real, and they’re going to meet somebody real.

So being open to showing your true self when dating, whether online or in person, is so important. You’ll find the people who like you actually like your flaws—they make you real, genuine, and authentic.

While it may feel like new territory, make yourself familiar with showing potential partners the real you rather than a filtered version. When you do this, the next step will be far less intimidating because you’ll already be confident that they like you for you… 

Going on a First Date? Here’s My Advice

For the first meeting, you don’t want to make a big thing out of it. It will heighten the pressure of the situation and may make you feel more uncomfortable and unnatural in what can already be an unfamiliar circumstance.

Instead, go for a coffee or go out for lunch. It’s enough time to get to know someone better without committing to more than an hour of your day.

If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, there are many other things you can do. For example, go to a gallery or theater and do something interesting together. When you’re busy doing an activity, you forget to try to show someone a polished, perfect version of yourself. After all, dating over 50 should be fun! 

When you can find something you both have in common, it makes life so much easier. Do something that will make you laugh, giggle, or forget, and just be yourself.

The Most Important Part of Making Any Date Successful

No, it’s not the conversation you will have with your date…

The most important part of making any date successful is the dialogue you have with yourself.

Think of the words you say when you have a date coming up. Is it something closer to option A or B? 

A. “This is going to be awful. It’s going to be so difficult, I haven’t done this in so long.”

B. “Wow, this is going to be easy. I already feel like I know this person so well.”

You always have a choice. 

Choosing to tell yourself words that are positive and encouraging will transcend into your thoughts, beliefs, and actions and will have a huge impact on the way the date progresses.

Since you make your beliefs, and then your beliefs turn right around and make you, you might as well make great beliefs. 

So tell yourself positive and encouraging things like…

“Wow, at last, I’m going on a date. It’s going to be great fun and perhaps could lead to something even more amazing.”

If you believe that to be true, it will very likely become absolutely true because it’s not terrifying or stressful to go on a date—it’s exciting and wonderful. 

Final Thoughts on Dating Over 50  

If you are dating over 50 and looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, seize this opportunity to go out and have fun and find that special someone. 

All you need is to believe you are worthy and deserving of love. So tell yourself this every day until you believe it. 

That’s really all you need—a certainty that you are worthy of love, deserving of love, and lovable just the way you are. 

So be ready now. Please don’t look for someone perfect. They don’t exist.

Go out there knowing you are deeply, deeply, deeply lovable.

If you’re ready to take action toward an amazing, loving life now, then check out my Attract Your Perfect Relationship audio course. This powerful course helps to rewire your mind to exude an aura of lovability and confidence that attracts and maintains loving and lasting relationships.

When you have this lovability and confidence, you will find your thoughts radiate from you and back to you like a boomerang. You’ll start to develop relationships with people who match your thinking and love you for you. 

That truly is the beautiful secret of finding and keeping long-lasting love. 

But if your partner, boss, friend, or even your parent is a narcissist, that bond can do more harm than good and cross over into abuse.

This type of abuse can leave you feeling confused, trapped, and alone. As a result, you may find it difficult to think or act rationally. But there is a way out, and I want to help.

So in this article, you’re going to learn:

• What is narcissism?
• What are the signs of a narcissist?
• How do narcissists use attachments to control their victims?
• What are trauma bonds and cognitive dissonance?
• The 4 keys to finally breaking free from a narcissist’s abuse
• How to rebuild your life after narcissistic abuse

Narcissists often have a very strong need for control and power over others, but let’s take the first step to freedom together by looking at a simple definition.

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a personality disorder that causes some people to be arrogant, demanding, manipulative, and exploitative in their relationships. They believe nothing is wrong with them and everything is wrong with everybody else.

While it’s normal to have some narcissistic traits, narcissists take them to an extreme. They believe they’re superior to others and have little or no regard for other people’s feelings.

This can cause serious problems in their personal and professional relationships.

Narcissists often try to control and manipulate the people around them. And when things don’t go their way, they may become angry or even abusive.

What Are the Signs of a Narcissist?

There are many signs that a person may be a narcissist, but some of the most common are:

– A bloated sense of entitlement

– A need for admiration

– A chronic lack of empathy for others

– A grandiose sense of self-importance

– A preoccupation with power and success

– A need for control

Watch my YouTube video to learn more: The BIG SIGNS You’re Dealing With A NARCISSIST!

How Do Narcissists Use Attachments to Control Their Victims?

Narcissists often use ‘attachments’ to control their victims.

They may do this by being excessively charming and attentive at the beginning of a relationship, then slowly withdrawing their attention or love as it progresses. This can create a feeling of insecurity and dependency in the victim, which the narcissist can exploit. 

What Are the Trauma Bonds Caused by Narcissists?

Trauma bonds are a specific type of attachment that can be formed between a narcissist and their victim.

They are created by the narcissist’s behavior pattern alternating between abuse and kindness, which leaves the victim feeling confused and trapped. The victim may feel like they need the narcissist in their life, even though the narcissist is causing them pain. 

Several factors can contribute to the formation of a trauma bond, including:

– The narcissist’s ability to charm and manipulate their victim

– The victim’s low self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness

– The victim’s fear of abandonment

– The victim’s need for approval or validation from the narcissist

What Is Cognitive Dissonance?

Narcissists may use cognitive dissonance to control their victims.

This is when a victim holds two contradictory beliefs and feels uncomfortable as a result. For example, a narcissist may tell their victim they are worthless and then turn around and say they are the most special person in the world.

This can create confusion and uncertainty in the victim, making it very difficult to think logically and leave the relationship.

The 4 Keys to Finally Break Free From a Narcissist’s Abuse

1. Recognize that you are being abused

Recognizing that you are being abused is the first step to breaking free from narcissist abuse.

If you have a relationship with a narcissist, you may not even realize you are being abused.

That’s because narcissists are experts at manipulating people and isolating them from their support networks. Here are some signs that will help you recognize that you are being abused:

– You feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells around the narcissist. You never know what will set them off, and you are always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

– The narcissist is always taking credit for your accomplishments and minimizing your contributions.

– The narcissist is convinced they are never wrong and always find a way to make you feel like it’s your fault.

– The narcissist uses verbal abuse, threats, and intimidation to control you.

– You have lost touch with your friends and family because the narcissist has convinced you that they are all ‘out to get you.’

– You feel as though you can’t do anything right and the narcissist is the only one who understands you.

By the way, if you are trying to cope with a narcissistic father, I have a helpful article for you called Narcissistic Father? Here’s How To Step Into Your Superpower…

If you have a narcissistic mother, check out 3 Ways To Heal And Deal With A Narcissistic Mother.

I also have powerful audios that will give you the tools to help you recover from the damage caused by abusive parents, step into your power, regain your freedom, and find strength and excitement to re-write your future. 

You can find them in my shop here.

2. Reach out for support

You must reach out for support if you are in an abusive relationship with a narcissist.

This can be from a therapist, counselor, or coach specializing in narcissist abuse recovery or even a suitable friend or family member.

You could also find an abuse hotline or support group specifically for narcissist abuse survivors. These resources can help you make sense of what you are going through and how to best protect yourself.

3. Build your self-esteem

One of the most important things you can do to break free from narcissist abuse is to work on building your self-esteem. This includes accepting yourself for who you are, setting boundaries, and learning to stand up for yourself.

Narcissists often target people with low self-esteem because they are easier to control. So, by increasing your self-esteem, you are making it more difficult for the narcissist to control you.

Remember that you cannot change yourself to make a narcissist better. That’s because the issue is not you or anybody else—it’s their internal unhappiness.

4. Create a safe exit plan

It is important to create a safe exit plan, and if the narcissist is your partner, that must include how you will leave them and where you will go.

Depending on your circumstances, you might need to have a financial plan in place. This may mean getting a new job, opening a new bank account, or getting a restraining order.

How to Rebuild Your Life After Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling shattered and uncertain of yourself. But actually, you do have a choice here.

You have the power to decide not to let hurtful and abusive criticism in.

It’s important to remember that you are not to blame for the abuse and that you can rebuild your life. Here are some steps to help you recover:

Take care of yourself. Be sure to eat healthily, exercise, and get plenty of rest. Taking care of your physical well-being will help you feel stronger and more capable of dealing with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.

Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself as you heal. Remember that this is a process, and it will take time.

Set boundaries. Once you’ve healed from the narcissist’s abuse, it’s important to set boundaries so that you don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of again.

Focus on the future. Narcissistic abuse can make it hard to believe in yourself or see a bright future ahead. But remember, this isn’t the end of your story—it’s just the beginning. You are strong, capable, and deserving of a life free from abuse.

So here’s my advice: If you are in a relationship with someone who suffers from narcissism, you have to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and how to protect yourself.

Narcissism can have a devastating effect on relationships, but it’s their issue, not yours.

It’s a narcissist’s job to make you feel wrong so they can be right.

This article has covered the steps you can take to heal from the abuse and rebuild your life.

I also have another video that I hope you find helpful here: SIGNS Of An Abusive Relationship & How To Leave To FIND HAPPINESS.

There are so many people out there that you can love and who can love you too.

Remember, you are not alone, and there is help available.

Love in color. 

Love wins.

All symbols, sayings, and movements for the LGBTQIA+ community. With Pride Month being celebrated yearly and countless supportive charities, you’d think expressing your sexuality would be easy…

But what if you don’t feel confident about sharing your sexuality with others? 

What if, behind closed doors, you are frightened of being judged? 

What if you are quietly worried about telling close family members or friends about your relationship preferences? 

LGBTQIA+ is an inclusive term that includes people of all genders and sexualities, such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, and asexual plus. While each letter in LGBTQIA+ stands for a specific group of people, the term encompasses the entire spectrum of gender fluidity and sexual identities. The terms and definitions are always evolving and changing and often mean different things to different people.

The term “coming out” is typically used for people who want to tell other people about their preferences, and it’s important to remember that no two LGBTQIA+ people will have the same experience.

However, that doesn’t mean to say you shouldn’t be comfortable with being who you are or feel you have to hide or change for anyone…

It’s also important to remember that you are supported, you matter, and you are enough. 

As a therapist with over 30 years of experience, I know all too well the challenges the LGBTQIA+ communities face regarding mental wellbeing. Unfortunately, even though most of our thinking has moved on, many still struggle to come out about their sexuality because they fear how people will react. 

That’s why I am writing this article so you can step into your confident self. As well as this, I’ve produced a video to help people deal with anxieties around this time in their lives which will be available on my YouTube channel.

Over three decades, I’ve had hundreds of clients confide in me about their fears of being their true selves, and all their insecurities boil down to these two things:

Feeling enough and having the confidence to express yourself.

This lack of confidence to not be ourselves comes down to not feeling enough. So I’m here to show you the secret to how you can change this and step out as your true authentic self…

What is holding you back from coming out?  

First, we must understand that not being able to fully express our identity or desires is not our fault. 

You see, it’s our natural human instinct and survival mechanism to seek connection and avoid rejection. We live in and need communities to survive, originating from pre-historic times when we lived in tribes and caves for our safety.

And the same is true for today. We have a core instinct to feel safe.  

So if our communities only accept “heterosexual relationships,” and that message has been instilled into society throughout the decades, no wonder you don’t feel safe to be your true self and might feel nervous about sharing your news with the world.

The good news is there are so many supportive communities that can help you, but it’s important to remember that the confidence to be who you are must first come from within… 

Build Your Self-Esteem Today 

When you have low self-esteem, you hold yourself back from having the life you want to live and having the experiences you want to have. It can even stop you from having a normal conversation with someone, let alone sharing something new.  

It’s good to have support around you if you’re thinking of coming out, but it’s even more important that you wholeheartedly believe in yourself.  

You see, self-esteem is what we feel about ourselves. 

I could sit here and tell you all day that I regard you in the highest esteem, but it won’t mean anything unless you have high regard for yourself. 

Because there is nothing that will boost your self-esteem as praise can. 

But guess what?

It’s not the praise you hear from other people, as nice as that can be; it’s the praise you give yourself that is the most important. 

When you praise yourself, your self-esteem is raised. 

When you praise yourself, your mind has no hidden agenda.

When you praise yourself, there are no conditions. 

Your mind doesn’t care if what you tell it is right or wrong, true or false, healthy or not; it simply lets it in. And that’s why it’s so important to stop criticizing and instead, start praising yourself daily.

I promise you that praising does not make you big-headed, arrogant, or obnoxious; it makes you better.

Praise boosts you, whereas criticism withers you. 

The good thing with self-praise is that no one has to know you’re doing it. It’s about you taking the time to say nice things to yourself.

And you can start today. 

Once you do this every day, it becomes a habit, and when you make a habit, it turns right around and makes you—it becomes a part of who you are.

Find Acceptance in Yourself

If you grew up in an environment where being gay, bisexual, or curious was frowned upon, you may have conflicting beliefs and unmet needs that stop you from becoming your true self.

The good news is that you can reframe these unmet needs and beliefs and start re-writing your future now by simply telling yourself the words you longed and craved to hear growing up by telling these to yourself. Words such as:

“I am proud of myself.”

“I love myself for who I am.”

“I matter.” 

You can incorporate these into your daily routine, known as habit stacking. For example, whenever you clean your teeth, wash your face or comb your hair in the mirror, stop and look at yourself and tell yourself these words and that you are enough. 

Choose Your Environment 

We absorb much of what is in our environments without realizing it—from the people we surround ourselves with to what we consume on social media. So decide today that you’re going to find people who support the lifestyle that you want to live.

If you have negative or toxic people in your life, make a conscious effort to spend less time with them and start to surround yourself with people that lift your spirits. For example, you could call a friend that makes you laugh or join a new online or offline community that helps you feel good and grow.  

Make a conscious choice to step away, and distance yourself from work colleagues, friends, or associates who don’t support you or your sexuality. With family, you can do things to eliminate the contact you have with them to protect yourself, setting clear and strong boundaries. 

Step Into Your Confident Self

Confident people never say to themselves, “I can’t do this.” Instead, they find a way to make things happen and look for the best outcome. You can learn more through my confidence-building activities. 

If you have a strong desire to step out and express yourself, you need to find the conviction behind your confidence.

Having ultimate confidence also means you have the resilience to deal with setbacks. Remember that for some, your news may be a shock, and they need time to process it, and they may react in ways that are unexpected. When you are confident in yourself, you find tools to be resilient and cope better with people’s reactions.

Your confidence usually takes the biggest knock when you are faced with a difficult time. So being able to build your confidence muscle is key to becoming immune to the ups and downs of everyday life. 

Many of us have trouble accepting ourselves fully. We may find it easy to appreciate our strengths, but we develop an overwhelming sense of judgment and rejection regarding our flaws and failures and worry about what others think of us.

Here are three things I want you to understand today:

1. We often aren’t aware of our core belief systems and worries that knock our confidence as they are buried deep subconsciously.  

2. You were born with incredible confidence, and somewhere along the line, this was diminished over time. 

3. You have the power to completely transform and re-write your life.

So how do we tap into this new belief and regain this ultimate confidence to come out? 

The Secret To Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind for Phenomenal Confidence

Imagine being able to be fully yourself without any judgment…

Feeling empowered by your sexual choices and expressing exactly who you are without worries…

And having the confidence to bounce back from negativity and let it wash over you…   

The secret? 

Reprogramming your mind at its very core…

By instilling new subconscious beliefs in yourself that are so strong, other people will sense them too, and the effects are powerful beyond belief.

And the wonderful thing about creating more confidence about your sexuality in your life? It not only affects how you feel about yourself, but it has a ripple effect in other areas of your life too.  

The great news is, you can achieve this in just a week with my I Am Enough 7-Day Course.

Many people think that changing habits and beliefs takes years of work, and that’s simply not true. Your mind is malleable, and using the power of neuroplasticity and neuroscience in I Am Enough, no matter what unhelpful thoughts have held you back in the past and stopped you from coming out, you have the power to reframe and change these today.

Watch here as I explain how it works.

You get to recode and rewire new powerful beliefs at a deep subconscious level—a level your conscious mind cannot reach—to be able to come out as your best confident self.

No more anxiety eating you up about who you are and stepping into your true identity.

No more 3 a.m. worries, tossing and turning at night wondering how you will tell people about your sexuality.  

No more hiding. 

You get to finally feel liberated, and the relief will be immense…

The freedom to be your true self and take your place in the world.

Remember that your self-worth starts with fully accepting yourself and knowing that you—alone—are enough. 

Discover how my I Am Enough 7-Day Course can help you step out today.

Narcissistic fathers tend to be self-important, play the victim and use tactics like gaslighting.

If you have a narcissist father, you may be more likely to struggle with the following things: anger, chronic guilt, low self-esteem, codependency in other relationships, poor boundaries, being a people-pleaser, an inability to express or handle emotions, such as exploding into a temper, or worse; modeling narcissistic behaviors yourself. 

You might even think that there’s nothing you can do about it…

It might seem counterintuitive and sound surprising, but not only can having a narcissistic father help you become a better person, but it gives you a superpower, and this article will show you exactly how…

But I’m here to show you that you can.

Throughout my three decades, I’ve worked with hundreds of victims of narcissists and narcissistic clients themselves, and I want to share how you can rewrite your future and break away from the identity of this toxic relationship.

You might even think that there’s nothing you can do about it…

But I’m here to show you that you can.

It might seem counterintuitive and sound surprising, but not only can having a narcissistic father help you become a better person, but it gives you a superpower, and this article will show you exactly how… 

Throughout my three decades, I’ve worked with hundreds of victims of narcissists and narcissistic clients themselves, and I want to share how you can rewrite your future and break away from the identity of this toxic relationship. 

What exactly is a narcissistic personality disorder?

I believe that when we understand something, it gives us our power back. 

Before we begin to think about tackling a narcissistic relationship with our mother, we need to identify what narcissism means: 

According to the Mayo Clinic, “A narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition in which a person has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, difficult relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. The person is also particularly sensitive to criticism, despite their high self-esteem. Bear in mind that abuse and narcissism are not always related. A diagnosis of NPD does not automatically translate to abusive behavior, and many people who engage in abuse do not have NPD.”

There are two main types of narcissists:

• Overt (grandiose) narcissists—the most obvious form of NPD. An overt narcissist is extroverted, socially charming, arrogant, and demanding. They are proud of their ability to manipulate and control others for their own gain, and their methods are clear and consistent.
• Covert (vulnerable) narcissist—the ‘shy’ narcissist. They generally lack confidence and use less open or direct methods of manipulation, which are often more difficult to detect. They tend to use passive aggression, guilt-tripping, and emotional manipulation.

A narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school, or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve, and they end up projecting this onto their children.

When we arrive on the planet, our minds have one job: to keep us alive by keeping us safe. The trouble is, we rely on our parents to give us all our needs, and our parents are supposed to protect us. So if our main caregiver has narcissistic traits, more often than not, we grow up with unmet needs, conflicted belief systems about ourselves, our identity, and how we behave in the world and deal with setbacks. 

Narcissistic Traits in Fathers  

While not all narcissist fathers are necessarily abusive, how they treat their children may not come not from a place of love and care, or at least they believe they think they are parenting in a way that is right for them, but it’s not healthy for you.  

You see, narcissists are not wired to parent in healthy ways.

Narcissist fathers tend to function to gain power and control. 

They may be incredibly possessive of their children and feel threatened by their child developing any independence. If you have a narcissistic parent, you might generally experience humiliation and shame and grow up having poor self-esteem. Often, children of narcissists have a conflicted belief system about their identity and struggle with relationships. 

Some other signs to look out for are: exaggerating and lying about himself, being self-centered, vain, and does not take criticism well. He might demand perfection and easily explode into rages. 

If you think you are dealing with a narcissistic father, or you know someone who is, take a look at my tools that you can implement to claim back the freedom you deserve.

It’s Time Take Control and Be Empowered

Certainly, most people would not actively choose to have a parent with narcissistic personality disorder, but surprisingly a combination of resilient and fortunate positives could emerge if you find yourself in this unfortunate position…

Assert Your Boundaries 

Narcissistic fathers often dictate to their children. But you get to choose when you want to see him. You can choose to visit at certain times that suit you and keep it limited. You get to choose when you respond to a phone call or message. When you reframe this, you get to step into your power. 

Creating boundaries for yourself sends a message to your mind and to those around you that you matter. This level of self-care means you are no longer at the whim of other people’s behaviors andare now looking after yourself—something you may have never done before due to having a narcissistic parent. 

Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships, and setting and sustaining boundaries is a skill you can acquire. When you set new boundaries, you must keep affirming them and making them familiar. This new skill requires practice until it becomes a natural habit.   

Know That Having a Narcissistic Father Is Not Your Fault

So many of my clients grow up believing their parent’s behavior must be their fault. However, it’s even worse with a narcissistic parent, as they will often overtly blame you for everything that happens. 

However, you must understand that this is a narcissistic trait and has nothing to do with you; yes, even if you are told repeatedly that it’s your fault, it’s not.

You may feel terrible guilt and have conflicting beliefs that keep pulling you back, so be mindful of these feelings and release the need to blame yourself.

Instead, choose to let go of guilt, blame, and be excited about your future. 

Learn How To Find Compassion

Understand that hurt people, hurt people. 

Unhappy people want to make those around them feel bad, and for a narcissist, this is, unfortunately, easier to do with their children.

Once you can take yourself out of the situation and away from their behavior, it opens up a great opportunity for forgiveness.

This forgiveness certainly doesn’t mean excusing their behavior; it simply means you can move on with your life knowing that you have the power to rewrite your future. Otherwise,  your buried anger may also damage your health as resentment can build up and create stress hormones in your body, and the only person you harm and impact is yourself.

Despite it all, you now get to claim your power back by letting go and choosing to live in the present. 

You can try this with three actions:

Acceptance—understand that you simply cannot change his behavior and that it’s okay.  

Compassion—let go of blame and focus on yourself. 

Move on—set yourself new goals that will push you forward in your life, and not go over the past anymore. 

Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Taking responsibility for your life is one of the biggest and most precious, powerful gifts you can give yourself. 

While it’s important to find compassion and let go of blame, you must be very careful not to fall into victim mode.

You see, it’s very easy to blame your father for your upbringing and continue to carry this heavy load on into your adult life. 

But let me ask you this…

Do you want to reflect on your life and realize your pathway was guided by resentment, anger, or hurt?

If you choose to have children, do you want to carry your pain onto them, or worse, model his behavior without being subconsciously aware you are doing it and make them feel what you did growing up?   

Instead, take responsibility for what you can by choosing to work on and better yourself. Remember, you are in control of your life and can begin acting like it today.

Practice Self-Awareness

It sounds so easy on paper, doesn’t it? And logically, it makes sense…

However, we know that when his behavior triggers us, we can’t help but react… 

You see, our go-to habits and behaviors work on our emotional state, it’s deep subconscious programming in your mind to keep you safe, so this is not your fault.

We have a conscious, “logical mind” and a subconscious, “feeling mind.” Our subconscious emotions and feelings will always defeat the logical part of our mind. 

To change this, we must first practice self-awareness:

1. Notice—what behaviors of his trigger you and where are you asserting your new boundaries.
2. Breathe—count to ten, notice what you feel in your body, and write it down.  
3. Ask—before you react, ask yourself, “Will this help my future self?” If not, then you can try practicing self-awareness with my tools here.  

Break the Cycle for Good  

If all of this sounds like hard work, I have great news…

Remember that your mind is hardwired to find and return to what is familiar. Our subconscious minds are stubborn things, and breaking a habit takes practice, intentional action, and discipline, and this can be hard to do just by yourself.

However, I have created a powerful self-hypnosis audio to help: Coping with Narcissistic Fathers.

You’ll be able to receive all the nurture, praise, and confidence you’ve ever needed.

You’ll be able to release the need to always try to fix and repair the relationship with your father and start living life for yourself.

And recode that stubborn mind from its core to liberate yourself from your father’s hurt and discover how rewarding and thrilling it feels to re-create a new future for yourself.

You’ll be able to finally find inner peace and feel excited and empowered. If you are ready to learn how to redirect yourself into a tremendous sense of self-belief and no longer want to let the toxic relationship with your father define you, then try my Coping with Narcissistic Fathers self-hypnosis today.

You get wrapped up in all the details and forget that there’s more to life than flowers, table decorations, and that oh-so-perfect speech. Before you know it, stress can start to take over, and you’re knee-deep in to-do lists, arguing over the invitations, and having sleepless nights.

Follow my five top tips for overcoming wedding stress to make the process a much more enjoyable experience, and get excited for the lead-up to your special day so it runs as smoothly as possible…

1. Understand What You Can Control

Most people go through their lives not knowing what controls them, and they wonder why they get stuck or feel overwhelmed. But you simply can’t control your mind unless you know what to do with it. 

Understanding how your mind works unlocks the key to changing your behavior, so let’s look at why planning a wedding day is making you feel stressed in the first place:  

Having certainty is a powerful driving human need and it completely throws us when this goes away; we feel unsafe, out of control, and lost. 

When we have a wedding to plan, so many variables come up, which can make us feel uncertain. For example, we can’t predict the weather, other people’s behavior, or the traffic on the day. We worry about minute details, such as that family member who might play up and embarrass us, torrential rain that will ruin the photos, or the wedding transport breaking down, making us late.

However, the way to get through this is to decide that YOU are the certainty. Decide today that you can control your behavior and how you react to things.

It’s impossible to know what life will throw up, but it is possible to control how we react.  

Instead of looking outside of yourself, give yourself the certainty you need—know that whatever happens on the day that it will all be okay, and you are in control. You have the inner resilience, the flexibility, and the mindset to be certain that the wedding will be amazing no matter what happens.

2. Remember, the Worry Is Only Temporary

When you add stress and overwhelm into what is supposed to be a celebrative day, it causes you pain.    

If we know something will end and have a time limit on it, we can digest this information and process it to easily deal with and cope with it. 

Our minds react to instruction, so when we tell our minds that this stress is only temporary, we can begin to eliminate the pain associated with it. 

We can cope with anything if we know it is going to end. 

The same applies to your wedding planning—this overwhelming feeling will not last forever.

When you are in the midst of organizing your ceremony, it’s good to take stock and know that each task can be easily achieved. You can reduce the stress, and “pain” of this overwhelm by:  

Delegating—people love to have a job as it makes them feel involved and important. Share your overload with family and friends and let them take ownership of a task that can take it off your plate.  

Prioritizing your list—talk to your partner about your worries and make a list of the top things that are the most important and focus on those first.  

Making it fun—remember to enjoy the process. Give yourself a fun reward for achieving each small goal, such as a date night, treating yourself to a massage, or a fun activity.    

3. Be Conscious of Your Language 

Have you ever said these things or something similar?

“This wedding is stressing me out.” 

“I can’t cope with how much there is to do.”

Or, “It’s all becoming too big to handle.” 

It’s important to be mindful and aware of the language you are using about your wedding, both internally and verbally.

What you speak of internally creates an outer dialogue.

I’ve had clients with severe migraines who have been saying to themselves, “My job is killing me.” They then wonder why their body is creating an illness to stop them from going into the office when they have given their mind clear instructions.

The number one job of your mind is to listen to the words you tell it and act on them. So if you instruct your mind that this is stressful, that it is all going to go wrong—you presuppose it.

What we say to ourselves is very important—we literally give our minds the blueprint to figure out a way to make it happen.

Your mind does what you tell it to do.

So instead, you could say: 

“I love planning my special day and ticking off my to-do-list.”

“I feel accomplished and can’t wait to walk up the aisle.”  

“When I think about our ceremony, it brings me such joy and excitement.” 

It is even more powerful when using dynamic, compelling, relevant, and up-to-date language.

So how does this work in your mind? Read on to tip number 4…

4. Create the Perfect Visualization

Your mind picks up the words you say and then makes a picture. So you must act in a way that consistently matches your thinking.

Your mind does not know, and indeed it does not care if what you tell it is right or wrong, good or bad, true or false, helpful or very unhelpful—it just lets it in. Your mind’s job is to act on the pictures you see.

What the mind sees, it moves toward, and whatever you focus on increases. 

To help you focus on having your perfect day, you can create a vision board. You train your mind to focus on exactly what you want when you do this. The pictures make you think, “I am achieving this!” 

This is a technique I used for my first best-selling book.

You can create a vision board, vision book, or use apps on your cell phone or device to create your dream wedding. Whatever works for you as long as you see your vision board every day.

When you see your vision board daily, it makes you visualize, and a world of possibilities opens up and helps your mind think of how to take action towards your wedding goal and inspires you when you see it; you can achieve it.

If you can dream it, it’s inside of you. Your vision board then takes it outside of your head so you can look at it and make it happen in your reality. 

So instead of worrying about the finer details of your table centerpieces, switch these thoughts around and focus on the best outcome you can possibly have for your wonderful wedding, and your mind will be inspired to work out how to make it happen.  

5. Reprogram Your Subconscious 

Would you love to wake up knowing your wedding isn’t a chore but the most thrilling and exciting event in your life? 

Would you relish that all your dreams are achievable and can be accomplished?   

Would you love to feel so present in the magical moment of your special day?  

Then you may want to explore my Coping With Wedding Stress self-hypnosis audio today… 

You see, our minds are very clever at being stubborn and keeping us stuck where we are—in this case, stress and overwhelm. We have these blocks on a deep subconscious level, which can feel very frustrating. 

Just when we think we have made a breakthrough, our minds catapult us right back to our comfort zones, keeping us going around in circles.  

Making a conscious effort to eliminate wedding stress from our lives can feel like an uphill struggle and hard work (and let’s face it, you have enough in your spreadsheet). 

It’s a daily conscious habit and change in our core belief system, one we need to keep working on to get right.

Trying my Coping With Wedding Stress self-hypnosis audio will take all of that hard work away. It aims to help you relax and rewire your mind and step into calmness over stress, let go of any pre-wedding tension and be able to savor every moment to treasure your special wedding day.

Your Coping With Wedding Stress audio creates a visual and emotional picture in your inner mind to manifest exactly what you want for your big day by creating a blueprint that you then repeat.

The beauty of this is that it’s all done for you, so all you need is twenty minutes of your day to relax and listen, whether you wish to do this before going to sleep or finding a blissful space in the day.

When you can equip your mind to deal with anything, you are no longer at the whim of what life throws at you, and you get to take your power back.  

What’s more, as you begin to unwind and step into a state of calmness, you will start to feel more excited about your treasured day, and your mind will be focused on taking different actions. You’ll find you’ll come up with better solutions, inspired ideas, and be able to approach your wedding planning with complete ease.       If you’re ready to stop fretting about the festivities and step into a headspace of happily ever after, explore my Coping With Wedding Stress audio today.

Every song you listen to has a deeper meaning behind it.

When you wake up, the break-up suddenly hits you. Your head starts spinning, and you just want to crawl back into bed and hide away because everything is bleak and has no meaning anymore.

You might lose your appetite and feel your heart has been broken into a million pieces.

The feeling of heartbreak is very real and can be all-consuming. 

It’s hard to imagine how you’ll ever get through this… 

But you will. 

I get asked all the time about how to heal a broken heart, and I’m here to show you what you can do to move on, help ease the pain, and begin to feel not only normal—but incredible again. 

Read below to discover the three crucial tips for coping with heartbreak and how to start feeling better today… 

1. Time To Heal

Yes, it’s a cliché that time is a great healer, so stay with me on this one…

While you might be grieving right now and not want to hear these words because it’s not helpful at this very moment, I want you to understand why you need time and, more importantly—what you can do with your time while you are going through this process.

It’s also good to know that feelings come and go and that time is fluid, so you won’t be stuck here.

Many people write to me asking, “How can I get rid of the pain, insecurities, and flashbacks?”

First of all, we need to address that it’s important to feel pain. As humans, we have a survival instinct to remember what hurt us. We need to protect ourselves from pain. So while one part of you wants to move on, another part wants to protect yourself from hurt, which is completely normal.

This is why if we burn ourselves on a hot stove, we won’t do it again. If we get food poisoning, we avoid the food we think caused it. Or, if we’ve been locked out of a house, we remember to always check we have our keys. Our mind always remembers. 

Right now, you might not be able to imagine having a new partner, let alone flirting with someone, and this is perfectly okay. On the other hand, some people make the big mistake of moving on to someone new straight away, and they don’t allow the healing process to evolve and then make the same relationship mistakes again because they are still suffering in pain. 

Remember, if you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t be able to go for a run the next day. Your mind (and heart) need this time and space to heal too. You can permit yourself to indulge in eating that tub of ice cream while binge-watching TV or listening to sad songs—but don’t allow yourself to stay in this place for too long. 

You may be thinking, “Well, how long will this pain take?” 

But Instead of thinking about the length of time, think about what you can do with this time instead…

While you might be aching for the love lost, it’s also a good time to reflect on what went wrong:

Did you ignore your gut instincts or not listen to what you truly needed from a healthy relationship? 

Were there any red flags that you pushed aside and didn’t acknowledge?

What bad qualities did you not like about the relationship that you wouldn’t want to experience again?

When you use the time to really learn from the break-up, you discover what makes you happy and regain your power. This leads me nicely to finding your true self… 

2. Explore Who You Are 

There is a beauty in a relationship ending, even if you were the one that didn’t want it to end, and this is to discover what lights you up.

You see, some people who are in relationships lose their sense of identity—especially if they tend to have people-pleasing traits. So while you might feel you may have lost a part of yourself to that other person, now you get to claim that part of yourself back.  

When you have a break-up, you get to use this time to be selfish again, enjoy the old things you used to love doing, and find new things about yourself that you love and have never experienced.

By doing this, you get to re-frame and re-write your future.

Let’s say you’ve always wanted to visit a new country, try a new class or start a new career, but your ex-partner held you back (whether they knew it or not). Now is the time to take charge of your life and try new things just for you and have some fun.

You get to create a brand new “bucket list,” and you don’t need to answer to anyone.

You might not be in a headspace to think about how your future may look with someone else, but it’s also a great time to think about what you want from a future relationship, so you don’t attract the same type of person again.

When I met my wonderful husband, I was a single parent, and I knew that I needed to have someone who could be there and take care of my daughter and me. For example, I didn’t want someone who wanted to be spontaneous as I couldn’t just drop my daughter at a moment’s notice, so I was very clear on what my needs were and what I wanted and deserved from a new relationship.  

Take the time to think about what you would want to make your next relationship better:

What qualities would you want in someone?

What are your non-negotiables in a relationship? 

What shared values, interests, and attributes do you want next time? 

There is a great quote by Atticus poetry that says, “Chances are your best kiss, your hardest laugh, and your greatest day are still yet to come.” It’s a wonderful reminder that we can experience even better relationships than we ever thought was possible when we allow our minds to open up to new opportunities. 

You will find love again; there will be someone better for you, so take this time to get clear on what will bring you the most joy and focus on all of your needs first. 

3. Become a Beacon of Love

It might sound silly at first, but ask yourself, “Have I fallen in love with myself?” I’ve lost count of the thousands of clients who have come to me not feeling deeply worthy of love throughout my three decades as a therapist.

The result? They struggle to maintain healthy relationships, find lasting love and keep making the same old mistakes.

Let me ask you this:

Have you ever been or stayed in an unhealthy or toxic relationship that you know deep down is not right?

Do you sometimes attract relationships but don’t seem to keep love?

Do you feel hopeless that long-lasting love is for everyone else but not you? 

Not feeling “lovable enough” means that you don’t have the confidence to believe you deserve true love and happiness. Feeling unlovable can actually often repel people, as you give off a type of “unlovable energy.” It can also mean that you stay in the wrong, unhealthy relationships because you are scared that you won’t find anyone else.

On the surface, you could look like a million dollars, but if underneath, you are teeming with any insecurities, relationship worries, jealousy, low self-esteem, or conflict, then you will attract the relationships that match how “good enough” you feel in yourself.

This is the core foundation of all of my work, and I discuss this in more detail here.

The trouble is, this feeling of being unlovable is a block we have on a subconscious level. Only through working on yourself with hypnosis can you tap into your core subconscious to reprogram your beliefs to attract and keep wonderful relationships. You can discover how this works with my Dating and Relationships Bundle.

There is great power in claiming back your power over your heartbreak when you can take responsibility for your inner beliefs around love. The longest relationship you’ll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself, so you need to begin to fall in love with yourself.  

Many of us have trouble accepting ourselves fully. We may find it easy to appreciate our strengths, but we develop an overwhelming sense of judgment and rejection regarding our flaws and failures. 

Downloading my Dating and Relationships Bundle will help you find that inner confidence. To realize how truly lovable you are and boost your self-esteem to get over your heartbreak—even if you are not ready to meet someone new. 

My hypnosis bundle will give you all the foundations you need to set you up to become a shining beacon of confidence.  

When you genuinely love yourself, you change how you see yourself, and how others see you too.

By recognizing and honoring your desires, you communicate to yourself and others that you are worthy of a fulfilled and happy life. By allowing yourself this self-care and self-love, you reinforce the message that you are worth it. 

Remember that your self-worth starts with fully accepting yourself and knowing that you—alone—are enough. 
If you have never been kind to yourself, or have found it hard in the past to say nice things about yourself, now is the time to start this brand new chapter.