In this article, I will share how you can build a resilient mindset by understanding the profound “Rules of The Mind” and using them to overcome your most limiting beliefs.

You will also learn practical tips to activate your inner cheerleader, build unshakable confidence, and unlock the life of abundance that is within you.

So, let’s begin this journey and discover how you can become an unstoppable force in your life with the mental tools to achieve anything you set your mind to!

The Power of Understanding the Rules of the Mind

The “Rules of the Mind” are a set of principles I created to not only help you understand how your mind works, but also how to make your mind work for you rather than against you.

By understanding these rules, you can harness the power of your mind to build remarkable resilience and overcome any challenge that comes your way. Some of the key rules include:

1. Your mind does what it thinks you want it to do: Your mind is constantly trying to protect you and meet your needs. If you communicate to your mind that you want something, it will work to help you achieve it.
   
   
2. Imagination is more powerful than knowledge when dealing with your mind: Your mind responds more strongly to your imagination than to facts or logic. By using your imagination to create vivid images and scenarios, you can influence your mind to create the outcome you most desire.
   
   
3. Your mind responds to the pictures and words it hears: The language you use and the images you create in your mind have a significant impact on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. By using positive language and visualization techniques, you can empower yourself to direct your mind toward success in every area of your life.
   
   
4. Your mind is hardwired to move towards pleasure and away from pain: Your mind naturally seeks out experiences that bring pleasure and avoids those that cause pain. Therefore, by associating positive feelings with your goals, you can create a powerful motivating force that will help you overcome challenges and achieve success.
   
   

To build resilience, it’s essential to use these rules to your advantage. For example, using positive language and visualization techniques can be a powerful tool in helping you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. To learn more about the fascinating “Rules of The Mind,” explore my enlightening article on how to control your thoughts.

Conquering Limiting Beliefs: The Key to a Resilient Mindset

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts that hold you back from reaching your full, limitless potential. To build a resilient mindset, it’s crucial to identify and overcome these beliefs. Some common limiting beliefs include:

• I’m not good enough.
• I don’t deserve success.
• I can’t handle failure.
• Change is too difficult.

To overcome limiting beliefs, try these effective strategies:

1. Identify the limiting belief: Recognize the negative thoughts that are holding you back and write them down. By bringing these beliefs to the surface, you can begin to challenge and replace them.
   
   
2. Challenge the belief: Ask yourself if the belief is true, and look for evidence to the contrary. Often, you’ll find that your limiting beliefs are not based on reality and can be dismantled with logic and reason.
   
   
3. Replace the belief: Create a new, positive belief to replace the old one. For example, change “I’m not good enough” to “I am capable and deserving of success.” Repeat this new belief regularly to reprogram your mind and build resilience.
   
   

For more advice on how you can successfully overcome limiting beliefs, please listen to my interview with Bernardo Moya, all about self-belief and overcoming obstacles.

Practical Tips for Building Resilience: Tools for a Stronger Mindset

Building resilience is a vital skill that can help you navigate life’s challenges and achieve success.

Over my 30+ year career as a therapist, I have developed many practical tips and tools that you can use to build a stronger mindset and develop unshakable confidence.

Here are some of my favorite practical tips to help you build a robust and resilient mindset:

1. Activate your inner cheerleader: Praise and encourage yourself regularly. Instead of relying on external validation, it’s so important to celebrate your achievements and allow yourself to progress on your own. Once you learn to accept why you need praise from yourself more than anyone else, you will have built a strong foundation for self-confidence and resilience to flourish.
   
   
2. Build unshakable confidence: Develop a strong sense of self-worth and self-belief by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments. Once you learn the secrets of how to be confident all the time, you will start to recognize your unique talents and abilities and use them to face challenges without the fear of failure.
   
   
3. Embody an abundant mindset: When you focus on the abundance that surrounds you, it becomes far easier to shift away from a scarcity mindset. Acknowledge the boundless potential that exists both within yourself and in the world, and cultivate a mindset of gratitude for the resources available to you. By doing so, you can start living a life of abundance and unlock opportunities you never thought possible. To learn more about the fascinating difference between a scarcity mindset and a millionaire mindset, check out this article.
   
   
4. Silence your internal critic: Don’t let the negative voice in your mind hold you back. Instead, empower yourself to challenge its validity and replace them with positive affirmations. Recognize your worth, talents, and achievements, and cultivate a supportive inner dialogue. With practice, you can learn how to stop listening to your internal critic and become your own biggest cheerleader.
   
   
5. Practice self-compassion: Remember to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, particularly when facing difficult situations. Imagine yourself as your own best friend, offering the same care and compassion that you would give to someone you love. This is a powerful tool for cultivating a strong and resilient mindset that can help you overcome any obstacle. Learn more about the importance of self-compassion and how to practice it in your daily life by exploring my teachings on how to be kind to yourself and others.
   
   
6. Develop a growth mindset: Adopt the attitude that you are always capable of learning, growing, and developing. Rather than seeing challenges as overwhelming hurdles, view them as chances to enhance your personal growth and expand your knowledge. This mindset encourages you to approach difficulties with curiosity, persistence, and resilience.
   
   
7. Cultivate strong relationships: Support and connection are paramount to our ability to thrive as humans, so take the time to cultivate strong relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Seek out those who uplift and encourage you, and be willing to offer the same in return. Having a supportive network to lean on during tough times can make all the difference in your ability to bounce back and cultivate resilience.
   
   
8. Practice mindfulness and stress reduction techniques: One of the best ways to build resilience is to incorporate mindfulness practices and stress reduction techniques into your daily routine. Meditation, deep breathing, and yoga are just a few examples of these powerful practices that can help you manage stress and maintain mental balance. By cultivating mindfulness, you can develop a greater awareness of your thoughts and emotions, which can help you respond to challenges with greater clarity and calmness.
   
   
9. Set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps: This approach allows you to make progress toward your objectives without becoming overwhelmed by the larger goal. When you break your goals into smaller, achievable steps, you can create a sense of momentum and progress that will help you stay motivated and focused. This is an essential aspect of building resilience, as it helps you to stay on track and maintain your confidence in the face of setbacks.

You Can Build a Life of Joy

Incorporating these practical tips and strategies into your life can truly transform your mindset and help you navigate life’s challenges with ease.

Remember that building resilience is an ongoing process and takes consistent effort and commitment to see real results. But with patience and dedication, you can absolutely cultivate a mindset that allows you to thrive in the face of adversity.

By embracing the power of positive language, visualization techniques, self-compassion, and a growth mindset, you can activate your inner cheerleader, silence your inner critic, and develop an awesome sense of abundance and gratitude for the world around you.

So, start taking action today, and watch your resilience grow stronger every day toward a fulfilling life that’s full of joy and possibility.

Most importantly, which is right for you?

Often, people mistakenly believe NLP and hypnotherapy are the same—but there’s actually a big difference between the two. 

Today, I want to walk you through those differences and what they mean for your own personal transformation—and perhaps even your career. 

Let’s get started! 

What is NLP?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming, also known as NLP, is a therapy that helps us change the way we think and feel so we can achieve our goals.

This includes changing the way you talk and observing your behavior patterns.

For example, if you went to a therapist for NLP and said, “I always fail. I’m such a disappointment.” They would likely ask, “Always? Do you really always fail? Let’s look at that belief.”

NLP uncovers and reprograms such limiting beliefs to bring about a behavior change. 

It works by identifying the thought patterns and behavior of successful people, and applying them to the client’s circumstances.

In doing so, it has proven to be an effective method for phobias, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, money blocks, and PTSD.

So NLP is indeed a wonderful tool for bringing about positive change… but what if you could amplify, intensify, and dramatically speed up the results?

Well, that’s where hypnotherapy comes in…

What is Hypnotherapy?

Hypnotherapy is a safe and effective therapeutic treatment that uses subliminal messages to alter behavior patterns.

Now, hypnotherapy is actually different to NLP because it says, “Let’s go back and find out where this came from and get rid of it.” 

Imagine you had a fear of confined spaces. 

In NLP, you would be guided to stop believing you have that fear. But in hypnotherapy, you go right back to where it all began. 

A good hypnotherapist would explain that you weren’t born with a fear of tiny spaces. 

They would show you that you were once in the womb, then a crib, a car seat, and a high chair—and you couldn’t get out of any of these places. Yet we know babies are very, very happy being contained. 

Actually, being contained makes babies feel incredibly secure. 

So then you’d ask yourself an interesting question…

“If that used to make me feel secure, then why do I have a fear of confined spaces now?”

This is a really powerful question to ask yourself. 

Hypnotherapists say that because you weren’t born with that fear—it must have come from somewhere, so they take you back to find out.

When I hypnotize my clients (by the way, that simply means reaching a deeper state of focus), I take them back to uncover what I call “what lies beneath.” 

During the process, we often discover things like they were locked in a shed as a child. Or perhaps their big brother played a cruel joke on them and shut them in a dark cellar or closet. 

We discover where and why they developed this fear. 

Once we know why, hypnotherapy allows us to also remove that unhelpful, outdated, limited belief.

It’s truly a game changer for the client. 

How Do I Imprint My Subconscious Mind?

An “imprint” is formed with every thought you think and every word you say. It becomes an absolute statement to the mind. 

So if that’s a negative thought about something happening, it sends an instruction to your mind that you never want that to happen again. 

Our minds think, “Right, I must do anything and everything to make that not happen!” 

For example, a scared child where something happened to them, causing them to form a fixed negative, limiting belief. Just like being shut in a closet and becoming claustrophobic. 

You see, the mind is very literal. If you fear something, it does everything to take you away from that fear. Your mind is always drawn to what makes you feel safe and repels anything that is unfamiliar or has been told could harm you in any way. 

So with NLP, you would look at the fear, talk about it, and then use NLP to try to change your thoughts and beliefs around that fear, which is wonderful—but this does have its limitations…

If your mind believes that fear is protecting you from being hurt and suffering, then your mind doesn’t want you to get rid of the fear. 

The Importance of Understanding Your Why

Taking away a behavior without understanding its purpose will set you up for failure. 

When people say, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”

“I have no idea why I sabotage myself, why I can’t keep love, or why money slips through my fingers.”

NLP would say, “Let’s talk about that belief and reprogram it for positive behavior change.”

But hypnotherapy goes that extra mile. 

Hypnotherapy says, “Let’s get rid of the belief. Let’s go in and find the belief and remove it forever so it never ever comes back.”

Then you not only know why you had that fear and acted in that way, but you also now have the unshakable conviction that you will never do that again.

And that’s the difference. 

How Hypnotherapy and NLP Can Be Used for Powerful Results

Now we know NLP works on symptoms, but hypnotherapy can be used to help patients with both their symptoms and what is causing them—and we can use Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®) to supercharge this. 

RTT® is what I call “hypnotherapy on steroids” and is quickly becoming recognized as one of the most effective therapies available.

It not only utilizes the most effective principles of NLP and hypnotherapy…but also CBT, psychotherapy, and neuroscience to deliver life-changing results—in as few as one to three sessions.

RTT® harnesses the power of the subconscious mind to create even more remarkable, rapid, and profound results and goes much deeper than NLP.

Become Your Own Detective, Doctor, and Coder 

RTT® is rather like being a detective, a dentist and a coder all at the same time. 

A detective looks at pictures and asks, “How did that cause that?”

And that’s exactly what RTT® does—it finds out why—and fast. 

Why did you do, think and feel that?

Then you move from being a detective to a dentist…

You extract all the toxic beliefs and all the poisonous imprints that are hurting you. 

Then, when you’ve extracted them, you become a phenomenal coder… 

You begin to code into your mind (or indeed your clients’ minds) the most incredible belief system. 

We do this through the power of neuroplasticity—creating new neural pathways in the mind while simultaneously removing the old unhelpful ones.

It also has a powerful transformative element that uses command therapy to activate the body’s ability to restore vitality and achieve optimal wellness. 

So it’s really quite extraordinary.

Suddenly you deeply understand why you were scared, and now you’re not scared any longer.

You’re free, empowered, and confident to live the life you deserve.  

With RTT® you also receive a phenomenal, personal recording to listen to that wires in, fires in and codes in those words—and it’s absolutely life-changing. 

What can RTT® help with?

RTT® has a proven track record in helping to provide lasting freedom from a range of issues with phenomenal success, including:

• Fears and phobias
• Anxiety and depression
• Stress
• Panic attacks
• Migraines
• Weight problems
• Addictions
• Low confidence
• Insomnia
• Money blocks
• Love blocks
• Tinnitus
• Infertility
• Skin conditions

As a tool, RTT® can also help:

• Manage pain
• Improve performance at work or in sport

Final Thoughts 

So now you know the difference between NLP and hypnotherapy—but also RTT®, my multi-award winning method. 

I’m so glad you’ve read this today because I think RTT® is the best therapy ever—and if you had it, you’d probably think so too.

If you’d like to learn more about the power of RTT® and how you could harness its profound techniques to create your own life-changing transformations—and then go on to do the same for others too…I’d love for you to download our RTT® Career Guide.  

Demand for RTT® therapists is growing at an unprecedented rate.

So discover why over 15,000 others have already invested in my award-winning method that delivers unparalleled results. And in as little as six months, you could gain world-class qualifications for a rewarding, flexible career on your terms too. 

Some are lucky enough to meet special people they love, trust, and share mutual support throughout life’s ups and downs. 

For others, friendship can be a more complicated matter. 

Whether you’ve fallen out with your best friend or simply drifted apart from others as you move into different phases of your lives… 

Today, we’ll explore the truth about loneliness, friendships, and the secrets to connecting with others so you can find and enjoy the meaningful love and companionship you deserve. 

Keep reading to discover: 

• Where loneliness comes from 
• How to overcome past hurt caused by the breakdown of friendships
• Why all humans have the desire to create bonds 
• An example of how our primitive wiring still influences are actions today  
• The need to find connection and avoid rejection 
• The importance of finding common ground 
• How you can start to powerfully attract love and friendship into your life 

Let’s get started! 

Where does loneliness come from?

Loneliness often comes from a failure to bond. 

One of my clients once said to me, “I hate saying goodbye, every time I made a friend we’d move a year later. Until I decided I don’t want to make friends—it’s too painful when they leave.”

Many of us actually create loneliness because we’ve experienced rejection in the past. It takes such a painful hit to our self-esteem and confidence that we decide we’re better off alone. 

For example, when you move a child mid-term and they go to a new school where they have no friends, they feel like a loner, they feel like a loser. Sometimes that is so painful they decide to remain alone and don’t bother trying to make new friends.

So let’s look at how we can let go of hurt that came from losing friends or feeling rejected in the past…

How To Overcome Past Hurt and Open Your Heart To Friendship

If you once had a best friend with whom you shared everything and had a big falling out, you may think you could never trust someone with your secrets again.  

We’re brainwashed to believe, “Oh, I was friends with this person and they really hurt me. I could never go through that pain again. I couldn’t do it, I’d rather be alone.”

Or…

“I like my own company. I prefer being by myself, I don’t want to have to look after someone else.”

None of this is true. But you know what happens? Your mind listens—and it cannot distinguish between truth and false beliefs.

I want you to understand that your subconscious mind is always switched on. It is always on record. 

So it becomes very clear (in your own mind at least) that you don’t want to open yourself to new people. You don’t want to make friends. You’d rather spend the rest of your life lonely because that’s easy, and it protects you from the pain of rejection. 

But the truth is that nobody ripped out your heart, jumped all over it, or nearly made you lose your mind. 

You may have met someone who betrayed you, hurt you, and lied to you, but they did you a favor—you don’t want to spend your life being friends with someone like that.

If you fall out with your friends, you can go to events, parties, and socials and make new ones—better ones. Everything in you that made those people want to be friends with you before still exists today—they didn’t pack it in a bag and take it with them—it’s still in you. 

So don’t isolate yourself, don’t choose to live a solitary life, and don’t remove yourself from accepting the love of others. 

Love is all around you. You don’t have to be alone. 

You can share your lives with others, make amazing friends, and even better memories. And we all need this—in fact, our desire to create bonds is so deeply wired into us, it is traced back to primitive times…

Why Do We Need To Create Bonds?

Take your imagination back to primitive times when a man and woman raised children together. The man would go off to hunt wildebeest and zebras, and the woman would stay home to protect and care for their children. 

Now, the woman knew that it was very likely, due to the danger of the open, wild land, that her partner may not return home again. 

If this was to happen, she knew there was no way she could strap her babies to her back and go hunting to provide for her family all by herself. This left the woman aware that they were in an extremely vulnerable position. 

Therefore, women knew their chances of survival depended on forming relationships with other women in the tribe. So they chatted, gossiped—and bonded. 

Once they shared a bond, they would also naturally begin to share their food or look after each other’s babies while they went gathering.   

This made women in primitive times feel much safer, and is a primal need that is still present today…

We All Have Primitive Wiring—Here’s an Example

Our primal need to form groups remains deeply wired into us.

For example, a woman would never get up and walk into the bushes to the bathroom alone. That was so dangerous. You could be attacked by someone from another tribe or a wild animal. There could be a snake in the grass. So women always went to the bathroom in groups; they had each other’s backs.

To this day, when women are in a club or restaurant, we often say, “Hey, I’m going to the bathroom.” And our friend goes, “I’ll come with you.” 

But if we are in our own homes, we never offer to go to the bathroom with our friends. That’s because if we’re in a restaurant or party, we stay in groups to look out for each other.

It’s that primitive wiring to go to the bathroom in groups because we’re safe. 

And so, we forget that so much of our wiring comes from primitive times. We think we’re incredibly evolved and modern. We are. But we have a lot of primitive wiring, and understanding this is central to our most powerful need…

Why We Need to Find Connection and Avoid Rejection

The most powerful need on the planet is to avoid rejection and find connection.

From the minute we’re born, we naturally know, “If I connect to the people raising me and they don’t reject me, I’m going to live.”

That’s how we make it.

And so we all have a natural desire to keep friends and make new connections when others drift away. 

Because your mind’s number one job is not to keep you happy—it’s to keep you safe. 

Of course, anything that connects you to others keeps you safe. Anything that rejects you makes you feel unsafe. That’s why we don’t like rejection, but we love connection—because in our primitive minds, we feel safe, and that’s what we crave.  

The Importance of Finding Common Ground to Form Friendships

You know, you may be embarrassed to share your love of reality TV, but shows such as Love Island or Married at First Sight are actually really great because they allow you to find connection and avoid rejection. 

You bond with others by asking exciting them questions, “Hey, guess what happened last night!” and “Why do you think they did that?” 

Sure, it’s gossiping, but that’s how women have bonded for hundreds of years. So even things that seem silly and frivolous can actually help us find connection and avoid rejection, making us feel safe. 

If you love trashy TV, you’ll likely meet many others who do too. 

Be open and honest about your interests—be authentic, and people will love that. 

And you can think, “Oh, I’m actually really watching this because I’m talking about it to my friends, and in doing that, I’m finding connection and I’m avoiding rejection.”

Whenever you find common ground to connect on, it’s never bad. It’s good. So enjoy it and understand you’re doing it to feel safe.

Final Thoughts

If you want to attract great relationships—if you want to have amazing friends, friends at work, friends that complete you…

Please check out my Lovability hypnosis audio course. It could change everything—it will help you to attract love and love will also be attracted to you. 

Remember—what you want, wants you. 

If you want love, friendship, companionship, and connection with others—grow and nurture your Lovability. It really does complete you; it makes everything better. 

I adore love, making connections, and enjoying the company of others, and now, you can too. 

Thoughts like, “I am not smart enough,” “I am not good enough,” or “I can’t do this” are incredibly common, and they can hold us back from reaching our full potential and living the life we dream of.

But there is a proven and effective way to break free.

In this article, I will be referencing an interview on my YouTube channel with Dr. Caroline Leaf. 

Dr. Leaf is an eminent international leader in the field of Neuroscience (that’s the study of the brain and its impact on behavior and our thinking, reasoning, and remembering), and she shares some fascinating truths with us.

So, if you want to learn about your brain’s mysterious superpower and the science that shows how hypnotherapy can rewire it—then keep reading…

What’s the Difference Between the Brain and the Mind?

To understand the science behind hypnotherapy, we must first understand the difference between the brain and the mind.

Put simply, the mind is the intangible seat of our consciousness and is responsible for all of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

On the other hand, the brain is the physical organ that houses the mind.

While the mind and brain are two separate entities, they are intimately interconnected. When we have a thought, it generates electrical impulses in the brain, impacting our behavior and physiology.

Understanding this relationship is important because it is the key to understanding how we can change our thoughts to rewire our brains.

Now that we’ve established the difference between the mind and the brain let’s uncover the mysterious superpower that most people don’t even know they have.

The #1 Big Mistake Most People Make About Themselves

If you are like most people, you probably think, “I am who I am,” and “These are just the cards I’ve been dealt.”

You might also say things like:

“Depression runs in my family.”

“It’s genetic.”

“A leopard can’t change its spots.”

But I want you to know that those are false beliefs, so don’t make the mistake of thinking this way.

You see, the fact is that the opposite is true—your brain is not fixed or unchangeable, but also…

You Can Literally Rewire and Rebuild the Brain.

Just take a second to think about the enormity of that fact.

You can rewire your brain! It’s malleable—your thoughts shape your brain, and you have the power to think whatever you want. 

When you understand that, then everything changes.

Your Neuroplasticity Superpower

Now, the reason you can grow your brain is because of a thing called neuroplasticity.

Neuroplasticity is your brain’s amazing ability to change its structure and function in response to your environment, thoughts, and emotions. This plasticity allows you to learn new things, form new memories, and make new connections. It also helps you recover from injuries and illnesses.

I want you to know that emotionally, you are born as a fresh canvas. So if you’re having depressing, negative thoughts or limiting beliefs, that’s not how you are born—it’s who you’ve become, and neuroplasticity has made that change possible.

If you’ve changed your brain’s natural state and developed negative habits and ways of thinking over time, you can use your brain’s neuroplasticity to change it once again and move from negative to positive frames of mind.

This is entirely possible because your brain is a very, very hungry organ. So it wants to be constantly stimulated, and we have this amazing ability to grow new thoughts and make new connections.

For example, if you learn a new skill, neuroplasticity will help create new neural pathways in the brain to support that skill. Likewise, if you have a traumatic experience, neuroplasticity can help you create new pathways that make it easier to cope with that experience.

By acting intentionally and organizing your thoughts, you can get the mind working to direct or affect your brain’s neuroplasticity. 

All you have to do is change the story you tell yourself—we all have the power to do that, and that’s where hypnosis comes in.

How Does Hypnosis Work?

Hypnosis works by putting a person into a state of deep relaxation and giving them verbal suggestions that help them change their thoughts or behavior.

The changes that occur during hypnosis are possible because when you’re in a relaxed state, your mind is much more open to those suggestions.

You see, during hypnosis, your brainwave activity changes, and you enter into a state of deep relaxation (but you are not asleep). In this state, your blood pressure and heart rate decrease, and you’re more able to focus on the input and direction that you’re given.

While under hypnosis, you’re still aware of what’s happening around you, and you can still move and speak. But, you may feel like you’re in a slightly trance-like state or that your mind is very focused.

This allows the therapist to make the right suggestions to help you change and update your thoughts, behaviors, or emotions in a positive way. 

Over time, with repeated exposure to these new suggestions, your thinking and behavior will change permanently as you take advantage of your brain’s natural superpower—neuroplasticity.

Hypnosis uses that superpower to help people change how their mind works, so they can overcome huge obstacles, achieve their goals, and live more fulfilled lives.

And because our conscious and unconscious minds both have neuroplasticity, hypnosis can be used to change conscious and unconscious behaviors.

For example, suppose you’re constantly putting yourself down or doubting your ability to succeed. In that case, hypnosis can help you break these destructive thinking patterns and replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs.

This can lead to improved self-confidence, greater motivation, and better overall mental and emotional health.

What Can Hypnosis Help With?

Hypnosis is a very effective tool and can be used to help; overcome phobias, quit smoking, lose weight, manage pain, improve your performance in sports, increase your confidence, reduce anxiety, or improve cognitive skills like memory and focus.

What is “beyond Hypnosis?”

For over three decades, I’ve developed my own pioneering form of therapy based on neuroscience that combines the most effective parts of Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, NLP, and CBT. 

Together with my own powerful tools and techniques, they form Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT).

Think of RTT as “beyond Hypnosis.”

The RTT school has trained over 15,000 graduates in my multi-award-winning method and continues to be unique within the field of therapy—giving people the fast and, most importantly, lasting breakthroughs they so desire.

When you train in RTT, you’ll learn how to reframe core beliefs, values, habits, and emotions deep in the subconscious. 

Then you’ll be able to replace outdated belief systems and negative behavior patterns and form new life-affirming beliefs so the transformational process can start.

If you are interested in learning how you could train in RTT to overcome your own personal challenges, explore your full potential, transition into a financially rewarding career as a therapist, and lead a happier, more fulfilling life, then download our Career Guide here.

You aren’t alone. As a therapist, I’ve been asked hundreds of times, “Why do I keep buying stuff I don’t need?” Yet every day, we’re brainwashed by clever marketing tricks encouraging us to buy even more. 

From McDonald’s, “I’m loving it,” to the cute characters printed on cereal boxes with their eyes aiming down to peer lovingly into the eyes of excited, sugar-addicted children. 

But it’s not all the fault of the big brands. There is a much deeper reason why we continuously succumb to the temptation of consumerism…

In today’s article, I’m going to reveal the truth about why we continue to fill our homes with stuff we often don’t want or need, along with my top tips as a therapist for overcoming this habit to have a happier, more fulfilled, clutter-free life. 

Let’s get started. 

The Thrill of the Purchase  

Perhaps this weekend, you’re looking forward to going shopping?

You’ll go to the store and pick up an item that catches your eye, and you’ll tell yourself you couldn’t possibly leave without it. 

As you buy your item, you feel great knowing you’ve secured your purchase—that’s because we often buy things to feel good, to satisfy a craving for fulfillment, enjoyment, and happiness. 

That buzz may feel exhilarating at that moment, but let me tell you, it’s incredibly short-lived. 

The feeling will last no more than a few minutes. 

But we often fool ourselves into thinking that if we buy this one thing we’ve been dreaming about, we’ll be happy; we’ll not want to buy anything else for the rest of the month. 

The reality is, once you own that item, you’ll soon be equally wishing for something else. 

Let’s stop and think about this for a moment. If the things we buy actually make us feel good, why would we need more?

Just one piece?

It’s like craving a piece of chocolate cake. 

All you can do is think about getting a slice. 

At the time, you think it will make you feel better. 

You tell yourself that eating this slice of chocolate cake will feel amazing. You won’t feel lonely, sad, or unfulfilled because you’ll be enjoying pure bliss while you bite into this delicious cake. It will deliver you everything you need. 

But then, within moments, you’ve eaten it, and it’s…gone. 

Sometimes you might eat it so quickly you think, “I didn’t even taste that, I need another slice.”

And this will almost certainly lead to regret. 

Once you eat multiple slices of chocolate cake, you’ll always wish you stopped at one. 

Now you still have all the same feelings you had before, but you also feel a bit sick. 

And this is much like the aftermath of a shopping spree. You look around your home at everything you have collected, and they no longer make you feel fulfilled or happy. 

Instead, items now fill up your home to the point where you feel even worse than when you didn’t have these things. Because not only do you have all the same feelings as before, you’re also now contending with living in a home that is cluttered, crowded, and full of things you don’t want. 

Therefore, although they seem like they will make your life so much richer at the time, such objects carry very little value and can do much more harm than good.

Our Human Desire To Avoid Loss and Gain Control 

As humans, we’re hardwired to link pain to loss. It’s actually three times more painful to lose than to gain. 

That’s the reason why we say things such as, “I’ve lost my house,” or “I’ve lost my job.” 

Loss is a painful word, and our minds are programmed to reject and repel us away from it.  

This helps us understand why we have no problem buying new things and hoarding them in our homes. Our mind sees gaining things as a good thing, and it’s hardwired to move us towards that. 

Hoarding also often provides a sense of certainty and control. That you will always have enough of everything you need or want, helping us feel safe—something our minds are programmed to move us toward. 

But, of course, we’re never fully in control. We can only truly control one thing…our thoughts. 

Thoughts are the only thing we can control and have a massive impact on the path our lives take. 

Your thoughts control your feelings. 

Your feelings control your actions. 

And your actions control your events.

This leads me to the truth behind it all…

The Reason Why We Buy, Buy, Buy 

So, with all this talk about thoughts, it’s about time we get to the real crux of the problem…

The feeling, “I am not enough.” 

Not attractive enough, not interesting enough, not successful enough, not worthy enough. 

And so you are left always needing more. 

Because if you believed you were enough, you would never need to buy more to provide you with confidence, happiness, or fulfillment. You would already have all these things in abundance.  

The impact of feeling not enough 

Buying things, hoarding things, and allowing them to become clutter in your life all stem from the same belief—“I am not enough.”

The feeling of not being enough leaves you feeling empty.

And when you don’t believe you are enough, you will always want more. 

You could fill your home up with all the material possessions in the world. But no matter how much you buy, you can never have enough.  

And if you feel this way, you aren’t alone. In fact, 80% of the Western world doesn’t feel enough. 

Even some of the world’s most talented, gifted people—Marilyn Monroe, George Michael, Whitney Houston—all felt like they were not enough. 

This feeling, “I am not enough,” is why we buy things, hoard them, and allow them to clutter our homes. All because we hope they can fill the emptiness we feel. 

You will never buy or have enough possessions to fill that emptiness. It is an emotional void. And you can’t fill it with physical items. 

When you know you’re enough, you need less. So next, I will share my top five tips for progressing towards being content with less for a much happier, fulfilled future. 

My Top 5 Tips To Stop Hoarding and Cluttering Your Life

Here are some simple tips you can start implementing in your life to help overcome your hoarding problem. 

Tip 1: Acknowledge you want the feeling, not the things

The first step in overcoming a hoarding problem is acknowledging that you buy and keep all these physical items to fill an emotional hole. 

Remind yourself every time you think of something you wish to buy, you want because of how it will make you feel. 

Say to yourself, “Everything I want, is because of how it will make me feel.”

Whether it’s a new shirt, an expensive candle, or a perfume bottle, they are all desires to gain physical items to make you feel good. 

But, as we now know, these things will never have the ability to make us truly feel good—no matter how much we buy and own. 

Instead, we must learn to find ways to discover those feelings without physical things—and when you do that, your life will be amazing. 

Please keep reading to find out my next top tip, where I’ll share how you can find those feelings while reducing your hoarding problem…

Tip 2: Swap with friends  

The truth is, things don’t make you feel good—people do. 

So the next time you have the urge to go shopping and buy more which you’ll undoubtedly end up hoarding in your home, invite all your friends over. 

This is the perfect alternative, especially if you don’t have a lot of extra cash. Ask your friends to bring three things they no longer need, want, or like, and then have a big swap. 

Make it more of an event and ask everyone to also bring some food so you can all have dinner together. 

Much better than going shopping and spending more money on things that will add to the clutter in your home. 

When you swap the time you would usually spend shopping by inviting your friends over, it will soon become clear that this is what really matters in life. Sharing stories, love, and laughter. Not keeping up with the latest style trends. 

Tip 3: Give your things away

So by now, you know possessions aren’t playing the role you hoped they would.

This is why this tip is all about tackling your problem with hoarding head-on. 

The first step is to look around your house and assess everything you have. 

Ask yourself, “How does this make me feel?”

If it doesn’t add value to your life, if it’s not something that holds great meaning to you, if it’s not something you use in your everyday life, then gradually start to get rid of it. 

Because while we’ve already established that buying and hoarding things won’t make you feel good for long. You’ll soon find out that it feels much better to give things away than to allow them to clutter your home. 

Once you’ve decided what holds little emotional or practical value to you, start putting things outside your home with a sign they are free to take. 

I did this once, and it was so exciting to see more and more things disappear every time I would look out of the window. 

People would knock on my door asking if they really could take them, and I would say, “Yes. Please take it, take it.” 

It provides so much pleasure to give things away and make other people happy. Try it! You’ll not only find your home becomes a lot more organized, but your mind with also become so much clearer. 

Tip 4: Know when to say enough is enough

Of course, it would probably be unrealistic to say we will never go shopping again. 

That is why this tip is all about knowing when to say, “This is enough.”

If you find yourself shopping and wanting so desperately to buy something, remind yourself that these items may be lovely, but having them won’t make you happy. 

You’ve been shopping many times before, and you have bought more every time because they didn’t make you feel happy or fulfilled for long enough. 

And if you do buy something, try saying this: 

“I am enough.”

“I don’t need more.”

“This is enough.” 

If you bought a perfume bottle and it made you feel good, then acknowledge that is enough. You do not need to buy more perfumes because you already have enough. 

Saying this each time you buy something will help you realize you don’t need more. And will instead teach you to value everything you already have. 

Tip 5: Delay Gratification 

My final tip is a great way to reduce how much you buy and help you realize how acquiring things often actually gives you much more pleasure than the things themselves. 

My favorite example is taking my daughter to a food store where toys also happened to be sold. 

She came running up to me with Barbies overflowing out of the grasp of her arms. 

She exclaimed, “Mommy, I need all of these!”

I replied, “Darling, you don’t need it.” 

Despite her pleas, I reminded her that one Barbie would make her just as happy as six. Of course, she wasn’t convinced, but I allowed her to pick just one. 

As we walked to put the others back, I explained that she would have the rest one day. One for her birthday, one for Christmas, one for doing some chores, and another for earning a hundred stars. 

Children thrive off this kind of challenge and will wholly dedicate themselves to working towards receiving that reward. 

In fact, I can tell you that my daughter had far more pleasure earning her stars than she ever did playing with her toys.  

And that’s because once we have the things we want to buy, the novelty wears off within minutes. 

The thrill of a new purchase disappears, and we’re back to the same feeling inside, which leads us to want to buy more in the hopes of fulfilling those feelings. 

But in reality, all we are doing is hoarding and cluttering our homes.

Therefore, delaying gratification and buying or collecting things as a reward is much better than allowing ourselves to have them instantly and cluttering our homes. 

The Solution: I Am Enough

Wouldn’t you love to feel the same amazing high you feel when you first purchase an item all the time? 

Good news…

When you believe the words, “I am enough,” you can make this feeling last forever. 

You will never feel the need to go on a shopping spree to find happiness, fulfillment, worth, or success. You will already have all of these things in abundance. 

You will already have and be enough and will never require more. 

They are the best three words you can ever say to yourself…

“I am enough.”

When you think that you need more, remember, you are enough, just the way you are. 

“I am enough.” 

Write it on your mirror with lipstick…

Put it on your fridge using magnets…

Make it your laptop’s screensaver…

Wherever you will see it most is the best place to remind yourself of these words each and every day. 

Put it everywhere. 

Write it, read it, say it, speak it.

But most importantly—believe it. 

The way you feel about everything is due to the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself. 

Therefore, treat yourself with kindness, and surround yourself with statements of empowering truth. 

Before long, they will not only be what you do; they will become who you are. 

To harness the true potential of this movement, I welcome you to join my 7-day I Am Enough course. 

My 7-day course is designed to help you put these powerful beliefs into action. Removing limiting thoughts that have developed into unhelpful buying habits. Instead, helping you to reclaim your self-worth and speak to yourself with kindness. 

Each day you will cover a new area, building upon newfound beliefs and knowledge, helping you move closer to a powerful conviction that you are enough.

Final Thoughts 

Once you acknowledge that your desire to buy excessively was your way of dealing with your feelings on a surface layer, you’ll realize you need to go much deeper. 

Start cleansing your home of things you no longer need. Of things that no longer bring you joy or add value to your life. And begin tackling the root of it all—and empower yourself with statements of truth by stating, “I am enough.”

Once you have this inner belief, you will change your life. 

If you are ready to stop buying and hoarding things you don’t need to fulfill an emotional void in your life, join my 7-day I Am Enough course today.

Have you ever felt undeserving of the praise you receive? As though you are a fraud in your career or relationship? Perhaps you are always anticipating being exposed for what you feel you really are at any given moment?

If so, then the answer is probably yes.

I’ve been a therapist my whole adult life, and I can tell you this is one of the most common mental barriers people deal with—but it’s one you absolutely have the power to overcome. 

So, today, we’re going to discuss what imposter syndrome is, its tell-tale signs, and the most effective and powerful ways to remove it from your life for good. 

Imposter Syndrome Meaning  

We can define imposter syndrome as a lack of confidence and self-belief that makes you doubt your ability and worth, often leaving you feeling like a fraud.  

To understand this a little more, we can look to the number one belief that lies within imposter syndrome…

“I am not enough.” 

People who suffer from imposter syndrome often feel they aren’t attractive, smart, or talented enough to be where they are. 

This self-doubt makes you feel like you can fool everyone—but yourself. And when you don’t believe that you are good enough, you will always feel like a fraud in your achievements. 

Let’s unpack this a little further…

What Does Imposter Syndrome Feel Like?

To understand what imposter syndrome feels like, we must understand how the false belief, “I am not enough,” affects and hinders our lives. 

One of the most telling signs of this is the inability to accept praise. 

When you have imposter syndrome, you believe everything you do well and receive praise for is a fluke. You believe that everyone is better than you, more deserving than you and that you are simply a fraud. 

It doesn’t matter how many people tell you differently—you could be told every day how amazing you are, yet you still don’t believe it because you don’t feel that it’s true. 

It can also make you skeptical of the person praising you, as you don’t believe they are telling the truth. You find it so unbelievable that they wish to praise you that it can make you feel like they have an ulterior motive for doing so. 

The truth is, praise from others is invalid unless you believe in yourself. If you don’t believe that you are enough, then there isn’t enough praise in the world that can make you think or believe differently. 

You think you have managed to fool them, but you haven’t fooled yourself—but don’t worry, you aren’t alone in feeling this way. 

Is Imposter Syndrome Common?

As a therapist, I’m frequently asked about imposter syndrome, and it’s far more common than you may think. Especially in high-achievers, who find it incredibly difficult to accept their accomplishments. 

In fact, recent studies have shown that 70% of professional women have imposter syndrome compared to 40% of professional men. 

It’s important to recognize that this doesn’t even include people who don’t deem themselves as professionals. So it’s evident that imposter syndrome is a very widespread issue. 

Imposter Syndrome Examples 

People often think their imposter syndrome will go away when they’ve reached a certain point of success, but this isn’t true. You can still have imposter syndrome even when you’ve achieved your biggest goals, and for some, it actually makes it worse. 

By looking at some examples, we can see that no matter where you are in life, imposter syndrome can affect us all. 

Firstly, we have Emma Watson, who famously explained, “It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases, because I’m just going, ‘Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved.’”

Tom Hanks also shared this feeling, stating, “No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’” 

And Robert Pattinson, who remarked, “In a lot of ways, I’m quite proud that I’m still getting jobs. Because of falling into a job, you always feel like you’re a fraud, that you’re going to be thrown out at any second.” 

Notice the use of the word “fraud” in each of their explanations of how it feels to reach their level of success? They feel lucky—and often, they feel incredibly inadequate.

They, too, lack the confidence and self-belief that they are enough and worthy of the praise and admiration they receive, even though they are all extremely gifted at what they do. 

A large contributor to this is the immense pressure they have to live up to the perfect images of what it means to be a megastar that we have come to expect of them.

Although on a much smaller scale, our feelings are also hugely influenced by the pressure of perfect imagery through social media. 

Let’s dig into this a little deeper…

The Influence of Social Media

When we look at what triggers imposter syndrome, it frequently comes down to our over-exposure to fake images of perfection. 

This is especially prevalent in social media and often causes us to fall victim to comparing ourselves to a reality that doesn’t even exist. 

We look at these images in the media or online and think, “Wow, they have a beautiful relationship,” “They’re doing amazing in their career,” “Their lives are perfect.” 

When looking at these images, we would think it would be impossible for these people to be rejected—but that’s just not true. 

As we have already discussed, even those we look at and think must have it all regularly deal with imposter syndrome of their own. This leaves us all believing the lie, “I am not enough.”  

If you need more confidence and self-esteem wiring into your mind, I would love you to check out my I Am Enough guided meditation. Here, we will take a few minutes to deeply relax and code in powerful affirmations that will help you ground yourself and spark confidence in your life. 

Impact on Relationships

Social media’s images of perfection can also be a major trigger of imposter syndrome in relationships. 

It leads us to compare our relationships with other people’s highlight reels, and can also cause us to look at others and think we aren’t as smart or attractive as those we see online. 

This can make you question why your amazing partner is interested in you, causing you to feel unworthy and not enough to be their partner. The truth is, the images we see of relationships on social media are not reality. 

Remember this—we all have something amazing to offer the world, and the best you can ever be is a flawed person.

You are flawed, the people you love are flawed, we are all on this journey of life together as flawed people.  Once you realize this, you’ll feel so relieved. 

If this is something you need to work on, then I recommend you watch my video on How To Accept Yourself and Love Yourself to the Fullest. Here, I sit down with you to give you advice on how you can start to truly accept yourself and overcome low self-esteem and self-doubt to realize you are enough—just as you are. 

Imposter Syndrome at Work

Another situation where imposter syndrome commonly occurs is in our careers. You can have the job of your dreams and yet still don’t feel good enough or worthy enough of this accomplishment. 

The fear is that people will see you as a fraud who will somehow one day be caught out and told that you shouldn’t be in that job, and you never should’ve been. That it was all one big mistake. 

Obviously, this is not the case in reality.

You may have undertaken years of training, built up experience, and worked your way up the ladder with many long nights to get that job. You may have prepared a portfolio of your work and undergone numerous interview rounds—and they made the decision that you were the best for the role.

But it doesn’t matter how much positive feedback you gain or how many awards you win. Your self-doubt will always come out on top—and this is where imposter syndrome often enters our work lives. 

Do you have imposter syndrome at work? Here’s how to spot it… 

When someone praises you with “Wow, I loved your presentation,” do you deflect and diminish that praise by saying something like, “Oh, it was really easy to put together, I already had most of the information given to me.” By responding in this way, you are taking away all its value. 

People who have imposter syndrome at work also commonly overwork themselves. You don’t believe you are good enough to be where you are, and therefore you are in a constant attempt to work your hardest to keep up with the impossible standards you have given yourself. This is where perfectionism often enters imposter syndrome. 

Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism 

People with imposter syndrome can’t accept success and will always try to do more in the search for perfection. 

Ironically, those who strive for perfection are often the unhappiest people—you can find out why here. 

The important thing to realize is that there is no perfection. Nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist. 

In fact, the number one habit stopping you from being successful is waiting for perfection. And when we don’t reach those impossible standards we set ourselves, we decide we must be a failure.

Remember, when you set out for perfection, it’s a destination you will never reach. 

It’s like entering a race with no finishing line. 

Rather, the happiest people are those who hold the knowledge that they are enough even with their flaws. 

This mindset shift is why it’s actually very easy to fix imposter syndrome—continue reading to find out how.

How Do You Fix Imposter Syndrome? 

It’s important to note that although imposter syndrome can cause havoc with our progression, productivity, and relationships, it’s very simple to overcome. 

Here are three simple steps to start taking right now to expand away from imposter syndrome…

1. Harness the power of words 

The first step is to understand the power of words and pay close attention to what’s going on inside our minds. Of course, it’s normal to have some self-doubt, but you have to be very careful of what you repeatedly say to yourself.

A little trick I like to do is to imagine you are recording your thoughts. Now you will notice how many times you say, “Well that was a fluke,” “I don’t know how I did that,” “I don’t know if I can do that again.” 

Instead, upgrade your thoughts and nurture yourself with the truth.

“I am enough.”

“I don’t need to be perfect, because I am already enough.” 

Surround yourself with these words. Tell yourself, “I am enough,” when you wake up each morning, and remind yourself of this throughout the day by writing it in places around your home you will repeatedly see. 

If you would like to strengthen your knowledge of the power of words, then I’d love for you to watch my video on the Amazing Secrets of Your Mind. Here, I explain the importance of the words we use and how we can work with our minds for incredible results. 

2. Learn to accept praise

You should also keep a close eye on your dialogue with others. For example, do you diffuse, dilute, or diminish praise given to you by your friends or colleagues?

If your friend says, “I really love your outfit,” do you say, “Oh, I’ve had it for 10 years, I got it second hand, it’s actually got a hole in it”? 

Praise is a gift. When someone gives you a gift, it’s always best practice to say thank you. 

This is also true for when someone gives you praise and you thank them by mirroring the same compliment at them. 

“I love your outfit.”

“I love your outfit too.”

To put this into perspective, imagine I gave you a gift, and you gave me back exactly the same thing. All we’ve done is exchange what we gave one another—and we’re both back to where we were before. 

Of course, it’s great to praise one another, but that doesn’t mean we must diminish our own praise in the process. So when someone praises you, let it in. 

Say, “Thank you, I’m so glad you love my outfit, I love it too.”

To overcome imposter syndrome, you must get into the habit of accepting praise until you are an expert at it. 

3. Learn to praise yourself 

One of the fastest ways to overcome imposter syndrome is to tell yourself the words you are waiting to hear from others. 

Perhaps you don’t have a boss, maybe you run your own business or you’re working from home. When you don’t have people around you who praise you, you are in a praise deficit. 

But there is a simple solution to this—learn to praise yourself. 

Consider what you need to hear daily to free yourself from imposter syndrome. 

Say, “I’m amazing at what I do,” “I’ve achieved so much today,” “My communication skills are fantastic,” “I have phenomenal coping skills.”

Perhaps you need to hear it more—praise yourself on an hourly basis. 

It doesn’t matter what you do or what you’re good at. Start recognizing areas where you can express and praise yourself regularly. 

This is all about empowering yourself. Because when you wait to hear praise from others, you give them all the power over how you feel. 

To make this effective, you must truly believe the words, “I am enough.” I have something next to help you instill this belief into your life… 

Overcome Imposter Syndrome With Self-Hypnosis 

Suppose you have decided you no longer wish to journey through life feeling like an imposter in your own life. In that case, I highly recommend you download my self-hypnosis audio Overcome Imposter Syndrome.  

As the founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®), I know the remarkable impact of self-hypnosis in creating powerful mindset shifts that help us reshape and rewrite our reality. 

That’s why I created this audio, to help you reprogram your mind at a deep, subconscious level. Working together to instill a belief that imposter syndrome is sabotaging self-doubt that you used to fear and is no longer a part of who you are. 

Our minds learn through repetition, and so with consistent effort, this audio’s effect on your confidence and self-esteem could bring you phenomenal, potentially life-changing results.  

Most people start to experience results within the first 21 days— I would love for you to try it out for yourself. 

This is all about you investing in yourself and making your future a priority by releasing all your current emotions surrounding imposter syndrome, for a life of confidence, self-esteem, and freedom. 

Walking Away From Imposter Syndrome Forever 

I’m incredibly grateful to have been able to help so many people overcome imposter syndrome in their lives, and I want you to know that help is available for you to do the same. 

Take the steps that will no longer allow imposter syndrome to live in your mind so that it can never steal your joy, hinder your progress, and halt your happiness again.

Remember to be kind to yourself, listen to yourself, and nurture yourself with words of self-belief and encouragement. 

Accept praise and empower yourself by praising yourself because you know you deserve it, you are worth it, and you are good enough—more than enough. 

Each and every day your self-esteem will grow, and as this happens, your fear of not being good enough will shrink.

You won’t ever have to face imposter syndrome again. Instead, you’ll be able to live authentically with confidence, accept yourself fully, and realize that you are amazing, worthy, and have something incredible to offer the world.

Because you are enough. 
Regain confidence in yourself and eradicate imposter syndrome to freely and proudly live the life you deserve by downloading my Overcome Imposter Syndrome audio here.

Indeed, resilience, determination, and grit are all factors that are crucial to our success and ability to thrive both physically and mentally as individuals.

It’s worth noting that while resiliency includes both emotional and physical resilience, today, we will be diving into emotional resilience, also known as psychological resilience.  

So that no matter what life throws at you, you have the inner mental strength and resilience to recover and bounce back.

In this article, we will be exploring: 

• What resilience is 
• Examples of inspirational resilience
• Six ways to develop powerful resilience

Let’s start by understanding the true meaning of resilience…

What Is Resilience?

Resilience means different things for different people, but one common definition is “The process of adapting well in the face of hardship.” 

When referring to mental resilience, this would be how a person’s emotional state and functioning can be recovered after rejection, destructive criticism, or a stressful event.

It’s the ability to keep going no matter what. To quickly pick yourself up after a fall and keep moving forward.

By possessing the strength of resilience, you will have the ability to keep your head up in the face of adversity and never give up on your dreams and goals.

Inspirational Examples of Incredible Resilience

Many of the world’s most successful people have faced incredible hardships but they never gave up. Instead, they kept fighting, even when things looked bleak. As a result, these people have developed robust mental resilience to overcome rejection and achieve great success.

When Naomi Campbell was told the door is shut for Black girls to get on the cover of Vogue, she said, “Well, I’ll kick it open.” This was a clear message that she would not allow others to have the power to reject her or make her feel bad. So instead, she made her own judgments about herself that she was attractive, interesting, and worthy enough to be on the cover. Sure enough, Naomi Campbell has now been on the cover of American Vogue eight times. 

Famously, J.K. Rowling, an author best known for her ‘Harry Potter’ series, faced tremendous rejection from publishers but never gave up. Remarkably, she stuck her early rejection letters on her kitchen wall. Instead of letting this lower her confidence, she saw this as something she had in common with every writer she had ever admired, as publishers had also rejected them initially. Today, her books have sold over 500 million copies worldwide.

Lastly, Celine Dion sent her music to a recording label and called them, asking whether they liked her music. When they rejected her, she demonstrated incredible self-belief and resilience. She told them that they mustn’t have played it, as she believed it was not possible to hear her music and not love it. So they got her music out and played it. Thanks to her self-belief and resilience, they signed her on the spot. 

These are all excellent examples of resilience in life. They all experienced their fair share of rejection, but they bounced back—they knew what they wanted to achieve and wouldn’t let anything or anyone get in their way.

When you face challenges, obstacles, and hardships in your life, you must also have the ability to bounce back. To return bigger, brighter, stronger, and better than ever before.

How To Develop Resilience

So, we’ve seen the effect of building resilience, but how can we develop it in our own lives? 

There are many ways of developing resilience, but here are a few of the most effective methods:

The bounce-back factor

The first step in developing amazing resilience is to develop the ability to bounce back.

None of us like to be rejected. It can hurt us and often makes us feel sad, embarrassed, and wounded. 

This is because humans are very fragile and we hate rejection—our minds run from it. So much so that often, we pledge to never put ourselves in that position that brought us pain, sadness, or embarrassment again. 

But if you take that feeling and think, “I never want to experience that again,” you won’t allow yourself to return and try again, and, most importantly, you deny yourself the opportunity to reach your goals. 

Instead, we must learn from our past rejections. This must be a clear and decisive action to commit yourself to bouncing back. And who knows, that rejection you faced could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Perhaps you were rejected from a job application. But, with that added interview experience and time to improve your skills, you could find an even better job with amazing pay and benefits.

Or maybe you were dating someone who didn’t want to see you again, only to discover an amazing, new, exciting relationship soon after.

Being resilient means you will not let these rejections negatively affect how you continue to pursue your goals.

Harness the power of words

To strengthen your ability to bounce back, you must also harness the power of words. Tell yourself powerful statements, such as, “I am resilient,” “I have incredible grit,” “Nothing can phase me or deter me from my goals.”

These words are not only for you to say internally. You must also make a conscious effort to use them in your life with others. 

For example, if you had a job interview that went badly, do you come away and call your friend explaining how awful it was and that you died of embarrassment when you couldn’t answer their questions?

When a relationship fails, do you say that the breakup “crushed” you? Do you explain to those close to you that you wouldn’t be able to cope with the pain of heartbreak ever again?

Instead, update your language. Say you learned some valuable lessons and are determined to bounce back.

This is the language used by someone who has that bounce-back factor; the grit, resilience, and determination to come back stronger than ever.

Never listen to negative criticism

People who have amazing resilience and grit don’t allow the negative words of others to affect their goals or how they feel about themselves.

When people say negative things, they may acknowledge it, but they won’t let those words in.

How do you do this?

It’s very simple. When someone says something negative to you, simply thank them for sharing their opinions.

Because that’s all it is—their opinion—and instead of listening to their negative opinion, you can listen to your own opinion. After all, your opinion is the only opinion that matters.

When you learn to do this, rejection can no longer hurt you. 

Of course, if someone has constructive criticism for you, then this can be extremely helpful in identifying the areas in which you can change to help you meet your goals.

It is important to differentiate destructive criticism from helpful criticism. Destructive criticism is made up of negative words that are not helpful to you improving. Allowing these negative words in can diminish self-esteem. That’s why it’s called destructive criticism.

Instead, tell yourself motivating, encouraging, exciting things full of determination and grit.

Praise yourself frequently

While criticism diminishes our self-esteem, praise builds it.

Something critical people rarely do is praise. This is because they are not only critical of others but they are also extremely critical of themselves. Their self-criticism causes them to project negative thoughts and feelings outwards, so it is vital not to let these words in.

Therefore, to ensure you can live a happy life filled with self-esteem, you must create the habit of praising yourself.

When you develop grit and resilience, you praise yourself and become your own cheerleader. You should always aim to cheer yourself on with praise, even when you’re not winning. At the end of each day, tell yourself what an amazing job you did and how proud you are of yourself for the steps that have moved you closer to your goals.

Praise is an excellent motivator for the human mind. So even if you have not achieved much that day, cheer yourself on with praise. Tell yourself, “You can do it, and tomorrow, you’re going to be amazing—you’ve got this.”

See rejection as a delay

You can still achieve whatever you set out to—it just may require a different path than you first expected.

This is because, “No,” always means, “Not yet.” 

So don’t let the feeling of rejection stop you. Remember, it’s only a delay—nothing more.

It’s also important to mention that when something doesn’t work out or comes up short, this should be seen as informative data about what change may need to happen for them to finally say yes next time.

Equally, what one person will say, “No,” to, another will say, “Yes,” to. Because, as we’ve established, “No,” does not mean, “No,” rather it means, “Not now,” or, “Not for me.”

Therefore, when you get a, “No,” do not stop there. Instead, exercise your personal resilience and bounce back. Work on whatever it is you are experiencing your delay with and commit yourself to come back later to try again.

Develop excellent coping skills

Again, we must revisit the power of words.

When something doesn’t go to plan and you face a delay, remember to carefully choose your words as you react to the situation.

If you tell yourself, “I am losing my mind,” “I can’t cope,” “Everything is going wrong,” then you are creating an extremely negative blueprint that your mind and body will move towards.

Instead, tell yourself that you have amazing coping skills that will allow you to overcome any adversity life throws at you. For example, say, “I am resilient, determined, and won’t take, ‘No,’ for an answer.”

Tell these words to yourself whenever you face rejection, and eventually, you will find what once would’ve emotionally hurt you and deterred you from your goals will no longer hold you back. 

This is how you create the powerful habit of resilience.

Final Thoughts

When you implement these habits into your life, you will see that nothing can hold you back from achieving your goals. 

As you develop your resilience, you will see this emotional strength grow, helping you to overcome any fear you may have had about not being good enough or worthy of success.

Resilience will become your key to success, helping you bounce back from any obstacle that life throws your way—all through embodying the strong, determined nature of those who can cope with the delay in a healthy manner and won’t take, “No,” for an answer.

Remember, there’s no better time than now to start practicing your coping skills, praising yourself, acknowledging the power of words, and seeing rejection as nothing more than a delay when moving towards your goals.
If you want to develop incredible inner strength and resilience in your life, check out Marisa Peer’s range of self-hypnosis audios today.

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Enjoy the show! x

• Apple – Link
• Spotify – Link
• Website – Link

Enjoy the show! x

• Website link
• Apple link

Enjoy the show!